Friday, December 15, 2017

Happy or Hopeless Housewives

June 1, 2017

Are we Happy or Hopeless Housewives?

There is a strong Mind and Body connection. Stress can be one of the strongest health hazards. Keep reading for tips on dealing with stress and learning to love yourself.

Girls, I have a problem. I am constantly stressed and worried. Oddly enough, not about myself, but about how there are other housewives out there who are always stressed and worried! I know that sometimes bad things happen, and our minds and bodies react to those stresses naturally, but we worry and stress so much that it’s seriously affecting our health!

Did you know that when you are under stress, your T-Cells (these fight infection and keep your immune system healthy) are supressed? So whenever you get overwhelmed, your immune system actually begins to shut down leaving you open to infection, viruses, and bacteria! Girls, we need to calm down.

Stress is natural, but how we deal with it isn’t. Meditation, yoga, exercise, laughing are all ways that we need to deal with things. Our bodies are connected with our minds. If our mind and spirit aren’t healthy, then our bodies aren’t going to be. So what are the first steps to a happier, healthier housewife?

Create a mantra. Anything that you can say to yourself first thing when you wake up, last thing before you go to bed, and most importantly, when the going gets tough. It can be anything. An inspirational quote, a self esteem booster, something that makes you laugh. Here are a few of mine:

  • “Courage is not the lack of fear, but acting in spite of it.” This mantra is a quote by Mark Twain and it got me through so many things in my life. School, broken friendships and broken hearts, and even deaths in the family. Not to say that I didn’t stress and feel the overwhelming urge to scream, but it was something I could say to remind myself that I am strong.
  • “I am happy, beautiful, intellegent and wonderful!” Something very simple. This is my self esteem booster. I am sick of everyone constantly hating everything about themselves. In fact, I think all of us need to take a good look in the mirror and learn to love what we see. No matter what shape or size! Girls, I’m 230 pounds, full of cellulite and stretch marks, old acne scars and hair on my chin. But do you know what I see when I look in the mirror. A hot little redhead with a killer rack and a behind to match! Why do I see that? Because I choose to. Because it’s true.
  • “Nothing will go right today, so I will laugh and be amused.” Okay, so at first it’s a little on the downside, but if we can’t laugh then what good is there in life? We expect too much of ourselves and rarely give ourselves a break. I remember my first year of marriage crying over a meatloaf I dropped on the floor. I bawled for hours. Nowadays, I just laugh at myself. Why? Because it’s not the end of the world. Because tomorrow I still get to wake up next to a handsome husband who loves me, and I still get to eat the food I love, enjoy the things that make me happy, and have a roof over my head. Yes we should cook and clean, but don’t let those things make you miserable. Clean because it makes you happy to have a clean home. Cook because you love being in the kitchen, and the looks on your families faces when they bite into your creation.

We are Happy Housewives! Let’s show the world that we are Happy! Be kind to yourself, sit back and relax once in a while, and always remember to laugh.

Comments

21 Responses to “Happy or Hopeless Housewives”
  1. C Y says:

    I don’t know why, many many many people asked me “what do you normally do at home ?” and said “you’re not that busy !!”.

    I was EXTREMELY UPSET, esp during those 4 yrs that I had to move 4 times and 3 yrs after that – we had 4 car accidents in 1 yr, despite those tiresome houseworks – take care of 2 teenagers, 2 cars, troublesome pool, hard-to-maintenance garden, full-of-problem old house…..

    It seems that they always think a housewife got nothing to do !!!!

  2. shiria says:

    ya people in any country take housewives as granted. they would say oh u stay at home. u have ample time to do things leisurely. some would say. oops! i cannot stay at home as you, it’s so boring. why u dnt restart working,? very few would say oh it’s great to be a housewife…i would have liked to be in your place… many people over the
    world think that housewives are unproductive on financial and any other level of life.
    hello darla shine, may i kindly make a request? can we organize a global networking of housewives in the world?

  3. shiria says:

    as a housewife, i have just to be at chores, my husband runs errands himself, pay bills, but rarely do i get pocket money and very few. on top we live as strangers not couples. he doesn’t like me to go out. what i am for him finally? i dnt know,

  4. shiria says:

    to end with, my husband has a controlling nature, he tells me which chores to do or not? as if i know nothing. he is not open and communicative, i feel dejected in every way. today i feel sad for having quit my job 15 years back since marriage.

  5. shiria says:

    awaiting for your kind advice darla shine.

  6. Darla Shine says:

    Oh Shiria, how did I miss this? I do have a community for housewive. You need to join my club. There are thousands of housewives who are members and who will give you great advice. Some forum areas are locked down to membership so women may speak freely. It is free. Hit the club button and become a member.

    As for society thinking we have nothing to do? That is a joke. I think it is nonsense. And I just laugh it off. It is easier to go to work in an office than to stay home and take care of the children. We all know how full our days are. And really, is it so exciting to be in an office, or answering to a boss? If you can stay home it’s a great gig. And if you have the freedom to enjoy it you are really lucky.

  7. Barb says:

    I’ve worked outside the home and inside, and outside is a vacation compared to being a housewife. I loved getting dressed up, doing computer work only, eating out, getting a paycheck. It all became impossible when the second kid was born. My check was almost exactly equal to what day care for two cost, and there was much more work at home.
    After the kids were a bit older I took some temp jobs, and for the time they lasted, it became clear to me what a nasty lifestyle it was!!! Too much takeout, house a mess, kids doing what they wanted since mom was too tired to notice, unopened mail piled up, collapsing into bed and dragging myself out. I became really grateful that I could change this, and have mostly worked at home for years.
    It means our home is in reasonable order (I’m no Martha Stewart!!), we eat almost no processed food, things are calm and well-run here. We’ve had less materially, but no one cares. My son is almost out of his teens and just graduated high school, and for 4 years this house has been Teen Central. They love to hang out here, and I am relieved that I know where they are and what they are doing. It’s hard to know when you’re miles away all day.

  8. shiria says:

    i am now a happy housewife who enjoys doing chores and attending to my 13 years old only daughter well. everything much better now. but which jobs i may undertake from home so that in any adverse circumstance the future may be secure? so far our hubs are
    with us or still alive we rely upon them financially then afterwards? m i don’t get pocket money for myself but hub runs all errands himself.

    any advice darla or from anyone?

  9. Lee says:

    Haaaa! I just need to take a big deep breath and let this out. I recently became a stay at home mom. I have a BA and MBA and worked as a successful sales rep for 5 years. It came to pass that my husband got a promotion and we had to move to a new state. No family, no friends, no familiarity at all. At first I thought it was going to be an adventure for me and my three year old. A new start, a new way to hit the reset button. I’m not even a month into my new life and I think I’m slowly sinking. The boredom! I can’t take it. It literally takes me one hour to clean the house a day. My three year old is pretty independant and self sufficient. There are times of the day when he tells me to back off…. I can’t stand day time TV, I’ve watched every movie on demand possible and I’m starting to read the same books and magazines over and over. If feel so isolated and alone. The neighborhood we moved into is very suburban and I know that there are other stay at home moms on the block, but I’ve literally stared out of the windows for hours at a time and haven’t seen a soul. I have gone days without speaking to another adult and I find myself not even wanting to talk to my husband because I literally have nothing to say. It doesn’t help that I recently had a miscarriage and am completely devistated…..I’ve looked for things to do for my son and I, but there’s nothing.
    What the hell do housewives do?…. It certainly isn’t like that crazy desperate housewives show.
    Well, I’m feeling pretty desperate. Neet to make some connections otherwise I think I’m not going to be good for anyone. HELP

  10. Darla Shine says:

    Lee, did you read my book? After I left my high profile job and I was home with my baby boy I was bored, lonely and resentful. Everyone I met I found a way to work in my resume into the conversation. I have my Masters Degree, I worked in NYC on TV, I am not a housewife. I had to get involved in different projects to keep myself mentally stimulated. Just because you decide to be as stay at home mom doesn’t mean you don’t need or want to do something for yourself. What have you always wanted to do? I wrote a book and built a website. Think about it.

  11. Darla Shine says:

    Also, I want to add, make sure you are taking the time each day to bond with your child. Age three is great for going to the park, going on long walks, and to the library. You can join a Music and Me program, and keep your eyes open for moms who look attractive to you. Women who look like they have something in common with you. And start a conversation. Once you meet other moms with similar interests and a child your age, you will feel a lot better. Check and see if there are mom groups in your area. And make sure you are enjoying your toddler. No matter how accomplished you are, you still need to sit down and have craft time and play time daily. Take it from me, these young years fly by. Don’t miss the special time you have while he is this young.

  12. Ima says:

    Ladies, many of us hold masters degrees and doctorates and good for us! Education is Beauty for a woman. As with everything else in life,balance and wisdom are required before we jump and decide to quit our jobs. Some of us have done this, because our husbands gave us this luxury, and some of us absolutely are not able to do so. Darla, you may stay home, but yes, you have written a book and you have a web site, which shows an amazing gift for business. Not all of us have this gift, however. I think the point of your book and of your philosophy is 1 homemaking is a blessing not a curse.2) One may be a full-time housewife and look stunning at the same time.3) Cooking is a joy not a chore. And 4)love your family. Don’t feel guilty if you choose to work, just try to balance your hats that you wear.Also, please read Proverbs 31 in the Bible- the example of a woman, which is really very close to what Darla is doing.
    Greek love your way!

  13. Lee says:

    Hi Darla,

    Unfortunately I have not read your book. I literally stumbled across your site and I needed to exhale….
    I am still struggling with the day to day boredom, but to your credit, I have noticed that I am having more fun with my son. We definitely have moments that we cherish and I find myself looking at him in amazement. So, in one regard, I have a new fulfilling feeling in my life that I was lacking before. I think the next step is to get my mind stimulated and start a new project. I’m not so sure that I have enough material to write a best seller or have the patients to maintain a website, but I do think I need to think about what I love and what makes me happy that won’t interrupt my “Housewife” status.
    I have begun to put my situation out on “mommy and me” websites with the hope that I can make significant connections. However, I’ve noticed that many of the sites have few “active” members. Forums and discussions are far and few between and interest levels appear to be low with the other mothers. I possibly just haven’t found the “right” website at this point, so I won’t give up.
    I’d like to throw out there that before my career started in sales, I was a self titled consultant for charter schools. I was only 22 at the time, but I had the drive to come up with a message that benefited the children and developed a brand that proved extremely beneficial with the teachers I worked with. I’d like to tap into that same creativity and begin a new quest/ ideally in a collaboration with someone with the same vision and drive. I have a wide range of interests and have already begun to outline a few projects. It just has to get to the point where I turn those interests into a meaningful passion.
    So, how did you sit down and write a book. Is it really that simple? How do you turn the idea into reality?

  14. Lee says:

    To Ima…
    I for sure believe that being educated is a Beautiful thing. I worked extremely hard to obtain an education that would afford me new opportunities. It’s so ironic, because my husband often tells me that what made him so attracted to me was the fact that I wanted to get educated. I wasn’t like many of the women that he knew who had no goals or direction in life. I guess the shock of staying at home caused me to feel like I would be lacking something very fundamental with him. As of late, I have been very honest with him about my feelings and he has reminded me that raising our son to be an intelligent human being is the hardest job in the world and he has chosen me to take on the task…. He Trusts Me to fulfill a duty that no one else could provide. Wow, what an honor.
    I agree with you that not everyone is going to write a book or have a successful website, but with all those years of educating and sacrificing, I thought I Could be that person. There was always the hope that if I kept going, that I too could have a personal win like that. Its not that I have a wanna be famous bug… Its that I would like to do something that affects people beyond myself in a positive way. I want admiration and respect from those who said that I couldn’t achieve. I have the same sob story as hundreds of thousands of Americans. Grew up poor, didn’t have enough food, no heat during long Wisconsin winters and so on. I don’t want to forget where I came from, but I want to move far beyond it because that’s what my parents would have wanted for me.
    Just want to be great….

  15. Darla Shine says:

    You sound great to me Lee. Being a mom is great. And you know what, go for it. Why can’t you start something? You can. I have a Masters degree and I used to have a six figure television production career. When I left that life for my baby I was in the same boat as you Lee. I started everything from selling meatballs to publicity. I landed on the radio and then I wrote my book during naptime and pre-school. If you want to do it you can.

    The big deception is if you are a stay at home mom you must be an uneducated moron. A few years back a study was conducted asking ivy league female students what their plans were after college. Sixty percent of them said they planned to work for about ten years and then go home and raise a family.

    You can never waste an education.

  16. Darla Shine says:

    You sound great to me Lee. Being a mom is great. And you know what, go for it. Why can’t you start something? You can. I have a Masters degree and I used to have a six figure television production career. When I left that life for my baby I was in the same boat as you Lee. I started everything from selling meatballs to publicity. I landed on the radio and then I wrote my book during naptime and pre-school. If you want to do it you can.

    The big deception is if you are a stay at home mom you must be an uneducated moron. A few years back a study was conducted asking ivy league female students what their plans were after college. Sixty percent of them said they planned to work for about ten years and then go home and raise a family.

    You can never waste an education. And I have a very active website forum with over 3k active members. Join and chat with some of the other mothers. Look for the Club button up top on the right.

    Darla

  17. Lee says:

    Thank You Darla…

    These comments have helped me bring focus to my new life. When I wrote my first post back in Aug, I was so hopeless and lost. I thought I had completely lost everything that I worked so hard for. You’ve given me the glasses in which now I see a productive and bright future. My husband has even seen a confidence in me grow that (I guess) I had temporarily put on the shelf. He’s noticed that I am reading more books and am exited about tomorrow. He even came to bed one night and said… Hey, why don’t you write a book? It was like a sign for me and now I now that I have the support of my husband. Wow, its been 11 years of being together and I’ve just learned something new about our relationship…. He really beleives that I can go above and beyond/ push myself to the limits. What a great feeling that was.

    Thank You, Thank You, Thank You.

  18. Darla Shine says:

    Good for you Lee. Start writing!

    Darla

  19. Jennifer Wade says:

    I have to admit that for awhile now I thought that me being a housewife meant the end of me. But I have to admit that after I found this website and started reading your book, my perspective is changing. You are helping me in a great way and I am very appreciative.

  20. Mary Reyes says:

    have been a stay at home mother for 2 years now & at first I thought OMG how boring!! & I would ask my mother inlaw how in the heck do you not go crazy? What do you do all day! But now I LOVE IT! I have became very fit, exercising up to 3xs a day, I Love cleaning & keeping my house very neat, I also enjoy cooking & doing laundry! I am happier & sexier than Ive ever been in my life! The best part is is that Im worry free & have become very in-tuned with myself spiritually. It just takes some adjusting & women who are new to it need to find a passion & embrace it everyday! I also meditate & like taking trips with my son every now & then to visit daddy at work! My husband and I both agree that we dont want anyone one else raising our son but his parents. Im his mother, its my job & I know whats best for him =) Thank you for this site Darla, I am gonna buy your book tomorrow & I just know I’ll Love i!

  21. I stumbled across this site… I am an unintentional housewife right now. Although I stayed home with my son the first 2 years of his life and LOVED it, my life’s path has led me through a divorce, a choice to go back to college, and I now have my Bachelor’s degree and am a Registered Nurse. Due to the economy and the healthcare “reform”, competition for even nursing jobs is very, very tough and a new grad doesn’t have much of a chance of getting one.

    I worked a temp job in the hospital after graduation for about 4 months, and with my hubby working opposite shifts, we didn’t even see each other for 3 days in a row almost every week! That got old pretty fast, and by the time I was gone from 5:30 a.m. to 8:00 p.m. those days, I was too exhausted to do ANYTHING! I kept my sanity by knowing my paycheck was catching us up on bills and savings, and dreaming of my quilts and home projects 🙂

    So… here I am, with, as many of you, an “alphabet soup” after my name, and my son is older now and not home much… I am a housewife. I have been focusing on dually getting all the things done around the house I didn’t have time for while working and going to school, and on starting my business. I quilt, have quilted and sewn for most of my life, and have always dreamed of making a business of it. Some new doors have opened and this might actually happen… to be able to work at home, doing what I love, and still here to cook supper for my husband every night-who knows, maybe the Lord will open the rest of the doors and I won’t have to go work in another state as a travel nurse and not see my family!

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