Thursday, April 26, 2018

How to get your husbands to help around the house

January 1, 2018

Besides doing everything that is listed in the article 10 ways to make your husband king of his castle, I have one more very big tip that most women do not know about. But I will share with you as long as you are prepared to be surprised. Your husband will start doing what you ask and not letting it go in one ear and out the other. Stuff will actually get done on the honey do list. And all it takes is one little tiny word. WILL. The biggest mistake women make when they ask their husbands to do something is how they ask. Here is an example of what most women would do if they wanted the garage cleaned on Saturday afternoon.

“Joe, could you clean out the garage please.”   Wrong. What Joe is thinking is “I COULD do it, but I choose not to it”

Now here ladies is the correct way to ask.

“Joe would you clean the garage out for me please?” Right. What Joe is thinking is, “yes, I would like to help out.”

I read this many years ago in Men Are From Mars Women Are From Venus. I really thought it wouldn’t work until I started practicing it, and it really does work. Here is an example from the book.

“I will say yes to a “can you,” but inside I resent her. I feel that if I say no she will throw a fit. I feel manipulated. When she asks, “would you,” I feel free to say yes or no. It is then my choice, and then I want to say yes.

When a woman asks, “would you” or “will you” I feel her vulnerability. I am much more sensitive to her and her need; I definitely don’t want to reject her. When she says, “could you” I am much more apt to say no because I know it is not a rejection of her. It is simply an impersonal statement saying I can’t do it. She won’t take it personally if I say no to a “could you do this”.

This was such a great example in the book to really make me understand what the author was trying to say.

“Imagine a man proposing marriage to a woman. His heart is full, like the moon shining above. Kneeling before her, he reaches out to hold her hands. Then he gazes up into her eyes and gently says, “Could you marry me?” Immediately the romance is gone. Using the c word, he appears weak and unworthy. In that moment, he reeks of insecurity and low self-esteem. If instead he said, “would you marry me?” then both his strength and vulnerability are present. That is the way to propose. Similarly, a man requires that a woman propose her requests in this manner. Use the w words. The c words sound too untrusting, indirect, weak, and manipulative.”

I also recommend trying this with friends, and with your children! It’s not what we say; it’s how we say it, which makes all the difference. Experiment this week and see how the results turn out. Post on the boards what happened when you tried using the “w” words rather than the “c” words. I bet everyone will have a clean garage next week!

Comments

One Response to “How to get your husbands to help around the house”
  1. DONNA says:

    HEY DARLA!
    I JUST FINISHING READING YOUR BOOK AND IT COULD HAVE NOT COME AT A BETTER TIME. MY HUSBAND IS A LOGGER AND WORKS SEVEN DAY A WEEK (HIS OWN COMPANY) I HAVE TWO CHILDREN(BOYS 6 & 8) AND I OWN AND OPERATE AN ORGANIC HAIR SALON. I MOVED SHOP AT HALLOWEEN AND WE MOVED INTO OUR HOUSE(THAT WE BUILT) TEN DAYS BEFORE CHRISTMAS AND FOR THE FIRST TIME I FELL APART AND WAS BURNING AT BOTH ENDS. YOUR BOOK GAVE ME INSIGHT AND LAUGHTER AND ALSO TAUGHT ME NOT TO FEEL GUILTY TO TAKING CARE OF ME SO I CAN FUNCTION. THANK YOU
    DONNA
    SUNNY SUNDRIDGE
    CANADA

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