Feb 26, 2009

[Darla Shine]

So how can you be pro-life and not want to help a mom with her baby? How can you tell a pregnant single girl to not have an abortion but then complain that they are on welfare, WIC or food stamps?

I am thinking of Nadya Suleman. She is a wacko as far as I am concerned but maybe she is an insecure, loving girl who has been taken advantage of by her mad scientist fertility freak of a doctor. Did you know there are rumors flying around that the octobabies are from his sperm? Maybe he used her as his guinea pig.

I remember Andrea Yates who drowned her five children in the bathtub. I was a television producer and I remember the day it happened my response was, of course she did. She was depressed, all alone, home schooling, and she put out all the signs for people to help and no one did. She even told her husband she was going to kill the children, and he went off to work anyway.

I will tell you that if Octomom doesn't get some help she is going to drive herself and those kids into a tree. We all know what it is like to have one screaming baby, never mind eight infants and six other children running around. No money, no husband, equals a mom on the edge.

It's easy to blame and point. But what would Jesus say or do? Who are we to judge. How can any of us as mothers not feel compassion? It is natural for us to feel badly for the babies. It is easy to say 'she doesn't deserve them,' or 'the state should take them away.'

Be very careful ladies. It isn't long that even have the right to vote in America. It hasn't been long that we have even had the right to the pill. If we allow mothers to start losing their babies to the state based on poverty then which one of us is next? Not in my town, not in my state, not in America. We don't let that happen in the good old USA. And we women have to defend tht right or the next time one of our husands leaves us for a younger dippy and we go for help, we could have our babies taken from us.

If she is abusive, yes. But we don't take a woman's child because she is poor or stupid.

[jennypenny]

I have said alot of things about Nadya. Yes, she is out there. I feel compassion for her children. You are right, Darla. She needs help, for the sake of the children.

[Darla Shine]

Hey I don't want to give her money. I wish she didn't have those babies. And I hate people milking the system. Did she have intentions on milking they system? Maybe. I have a cousin who has a baby and says proudly that she doesn't want to look for a job because she can get welfare and stay home. That makes me sick.

But seriously what do we do with these babies who are innocent?

[fletchmom2]

To have compassion for her and other mothers is one thing. But how do you condone someone who has made the choice to have these babies when she knew full well she couldn't do it. How do you condone someone who had over 100,000 dollars saved up and used it for more babies instead of for the babies she already had? How do you support a woman and mother who obviously has no idea about being a responsible respectable mother and person of society. How do you condone someone who gets plastic surgery done and pays for make-up way out of her league instead of paying for the babies? How do you condone someone who knows she may lose the house she's in and does nothing to stop it? You have some really good points Darla, granted, but I am personally having huge problems with her and her decisions. I am pro-life and I would never tell someone not to get an abortion and then bitch they are on welfare, actually I would tell them to go on welfare until they got themselves on their feet. Those babies do need help and frankly so does she. But for someone who was so savvy with her money enough to save up over 100,000 dollars to do what SHE wanted instead of doing what she needed to do for her babies and then cry broke? Ya know what I say to her, get help to take care of your babies. GO GET A JOB! And then worry about finishing school. Those babies should be her first priority and obviously they are not.

[intrinsik]

Hey I don't want to give her money. I wish she didn't have those babies. And I hate people milking the system. Did she have intentions on milking they system? Maybe. I have a cousin who has a baby and says proudly that she doesn't want to look for a job because she can get welfare and stay home. That makes me sick.

But seriously what do we do with these babies who are innocent?

There are plenty of women who are unable to have children and want them desperately. They have good homes, would be lovingly cared for, and would be treated as they should be. I personally think that, if you can't care for them (or if you don't want them), these other homes should be given a chance at giving the child(ren) the life they deserve.

I think that Octomom should be giving these little ones up for adoption. Even Superwoman couldn't properly care for 14 children! It's not fair to the tax payers who have to clean up this mess and it's CERTAINLY not fair to all those poor children who suffer as a result of her (or whoever is behind this) stupidity.

I'm not saying people shouldn't be allowed to have as many children as they want ... as long as they can adequately care for them themselves.

[fletchmom2]

But seriously what do we do with these babies who are innocent?

Adoption to a family that can support them and take care of them the way they deserve to be taken care of. Unfortunately, I don't see that happening so unless we all give money I'm not sure there is a whole lot we can do to take care of these babies.

[Brittanie]

I think anyone that offered her enough per kid and she would GLADLY adopt them out. I think she is just money hungry!

[jreidmomof2]

I am torn with this. I don't think it is a poverty issue that bothers me, I think it is the mental issue that concerns me with her.

I really just don't know anymore.

[Darla Shine]

I don't 'condone' her behavior. But, what about all the other poor people in America who have babies? Should they all be put up for adoption?

I think no one in their right mind would implant six embryos after already having six children, BUT, are there not hundreds if not housands of families who have more than 6 children? What if she thought only one would take?

I am not happy she chose to do this not being married. That is a whole other story.

I just think everyone has to really be careful to say they are pro-life but then complain when people actually do go ahead and give life.

And yes, the California tax payers should not have to pay so that is why I am saying if we could get some corporations to donate it would be the 'Christian thing to do.'

[Nina Q]

All the poor people who cannot afford to care for their children absolutely have CPS step in and remove their children.(Well, they do it when it gets reported.) If she can't support them and can't get enough govt assistance to support them, then they get removed from the home.
That's the rule.

[mrsbigsky]

I feel so emotional about this story. I'm pregnant right now and I feel that every baby has a right to life. I do believe that these 8 babies were born for a reason and are part of God's plan. I don't think what she did was right, but it happened and now they need the best care and upbringing as possible. These babies don't just need help, they need divine intervention! It's in my heart of hearts when I say they MUST be adopted. Whether it's open or not, these babies deserve a proper upbringing.

[Daisy2]

In my state you don't get children taken away for being poor. You only get them taken away for not caring for them properly. Also had that many people lived in one house not ment to hold that many , cps would have come in and started working with the mother to make arrangements to bring the situation to an acceptable level. If the mother chooses not to comply then the children would be removed and an attempt to place them with other relatives would be made. They don't just take them because you are poor you have to do somthing wrong.

Personaly she cannot afford that many children, even with her mothers help she cannot afford them. She also did no preplanning that needed to be done. Right now I wish instead of being on tv she was working on cleaning up her mess herself. She needs to be calling all family, and contacting the local church, hitting the salvation army and such for crib and other items she needs. Instead of make up she needs real action in the direction her children need.

If she truely wants to keep them then lets give her a shot but she has to prove she is working on it and actually trying not just sitting waiting for a hand out. Then if she screws up move in and do what needs to be done be that counceling or what ever.

[TracysTribe3]

Darla - It's obvious you've thought this whole situation through rather than rushing to harsh judgment. You bring up a lot of important issues - esp regarding women's rights, or a mothers' rights. We absolutely *don't* want the state to be able to take our children because of poverty!

Gloria Allred came up with what I think sounds like a good solution. There's a group called called Angels in Waiting http://angelsinwaiting.org/cms/ that, I guess, provides home health care. She suggests garnishing any money Nadya makes to pay to have this agency provide childcare. According to their website, they are not providing care to Nadya - don't know what the deal is. Here's an article:

http://www.ctv.ca/servlet/ArticleNews/story/CTVNews/20090226/octuplet_offer_AM_090226/20090226?hub=TopStories

[TracysTribe3]

<<So how can you be pro-life and not want to help a mom with her baby? How can you tell a pregnant single girl to not have an abortion but then complain that they are on welfare, WIC or food stamps? >>

I just wanted to highlight what you said here. I also don't understand the logic behind being pro-life, yet being against helping feed the baby once it is born if the mother can't, i.e. food stamps, welfare.

I don't agree with Nadya's behavior either but as you point out Darla, there are bigger issues involved here.

[lauramt]

You know I had some not so very nice opinions of her before I saw the Dr. Phil show yesterday. Once he got her to admit that her decision was "wrong" to even get pregnant with 1 more baby, my heart changed about things.

We are in the season of Lent for those of you don't know what Lent is, it's for Catholics to not only give up something to teach discipline, but it's a time for giving and helping others. I think this is a perfect opportunity to find a way to help this women. She confessed her mistake, which is important, and now we all should accept that, and move forward and figure out what we can do to help.

Unfortunately, I think money is what she needs more than anything. I mean, she needs to pay the electric bill, buy food, diapers, etc. If companies are not going to help then others do. I heard there is a website set up to take donations.

I guess each one of us should pray about what we should or shouldn't do.

[shoppingmamma]

Unfortunately, I think money is what she needs more than anything. I mean, she needs to pay the electric bill, buy food, diapers, etc. If companies are not going to help then others do. I heard there is a website set up to take donations.



Yes it's HER website....I know I am being critical of her but I can't see giving her money. YES she needs it but can we trust what she will do with it? Will it go for the kids? the bills? OR will it go to more of her expensive make ups, nails, plastic surgerys and IVFs? In the past she HAD money and choose to not spend it on her kids and the bills but on things like that.....how does anyone trust that their hard earned money will actually get to those babies and children?

[FamilyMum]

Truthfully, I do not know too much about this situation........and I don't have to.

To me it's a "no brainer". She is a MUM, a Mum to 8 new beautiful babies.

How could she have gone into this situation with $$$$ on her mind? She didn't know she would have 8. Maybe she was just desparate to have one?

The Babies need help. What is there to think about??

My heart goes out to this woman, alone, frightened and wondering how the heck she is going to manage.

I know I would need help with 8 babies and I think if people were honest they would admit to needing help too.

Who would want 8 babies in one go? I think she has been brave and courageous to carry that many to term, when we all know what the alternative option could have been.

I am sure throughout the rest of her life she will be kept a close eye on, so if anything should be amiss in the future then authorities should step in.

In the meantime we as compassionate human beings should be able to give an ounce of love to those babies, by allowing them the opporunity to be raised by their mother and get to know eachother in a FAMILY environment.

[shoppingmamma]

How could she have gone into this situation with $$$$ on her mind? She didn't know she would have 8. Maybe she was just desparate to have one?

The Babies need help. What is there to think about??

My heart goes out to this woman, alone, frightened and wondering how the heck she is going to manage.

I know I would need help with 8 babies and I think if people were honest they would admit to needing help too.



Are you serious???

Desperate to have ONE??? What about the SIX she HAD at home already???!!!!

And she SHOULD have went into this situation with $$$ on her mind because she had IVF before - she KNEW if she transplanted SIX there was a good chance she'd have multiples - of course she didn't expect 8 but she knew she was going to get 1 or 2 to ADD to the 6 she has at home and can't take care of!!!!! She was in school and living with her MOM with NO JOB or husband!!!

She spent THOUSANDS on that IVF procedure when she and her 6 kids were living in a VERY small home with her mother and her mother had NOT been able to pay the mortgage in months! They were so far behind they are on the verge of foreclosure!!!! Why not spend some of that $$$ to save their HOME and worry about IVF later?

She has 3 kids with special needs already! She was immature and irresponsible! She is certainly not "alone, frightened and worried" (I laughed out loud at that!) ....she is SMUG and has an answer for everything!!! And if she was worried how to manage than I would have thought she would have taken the offer she was given of round the clock nanny/nursing care for ALL the children! But instead she choose to IGNORE/REFUSE it....doesn't sound like she's too worried and scared to me!

We are ALL being honest - yes if I had 8 I'd need help! I am NOT denying that! But I would ACCEPT products and services offered to me AND BE GRATEFUL instead of picking and choosing and holding out for CASH and TV deals! (and this is a FACT - her "camp" has said they've approached some network and want $2 MILLION!)

How can we have compassion for someone that won't even HELP HERSELF???

[FamilyMum]

Jill, I had to smile too......going off on a tangent..... I read your post and as I was reading the tone sounded cross, head shakingly bewildered, then I read your signature at the end " Have a sparkling day" and the tone shifted and made me smile. Thanks.

I can see we all have widely differing views on this emotive subject, but it is good to other people's perspective.

Like I said, I don't know too much about it all, I guess its big news over in America? Its kind of died down over here and maybe we are not getting the full story?

[shoppingmamma]

Jill, I had to smile too......going off on a tangent..... I read your post and as I was reading the tone sounded cross, head shakingly bewildered, then I read your signature at the end " Have a sparkling day" and the tone shifted and made me smile. Thanks.



If my tone came across harsh I have to apologize - it's not directed at you - SHE infuriates me and just makes my blood boil!!!! SORRY! :8:

[captbarth]

I read the transcripts from the interview that Nadya did with Dr. Phil. This is my issue with the whole situation:

She is "invoking" this whole pro-life idea by telling the world that she couldn't stand the thought of leaving those 6 frozen embryos undeveloped or that they would be "thawed" and destroyed. Or the idea of selective reduction...

Then she tells Dr. Phil that she went thru with this whole thing because her history had been that of implanting 5-6 embroys resulting in 1-2 babies at a time. So, okay... I can see that... she "honestly" believed she only end up with 1 or 2 more children at the most and all the embryos would have been given a chance.

Her ignorance comes in the form of selfishness, I think. If she were TRULY pro-life, with stable mental health... realizing the gravity of her existing situation, she would have adopted out the embryos to infertile couples. Plain and simple. This would have "cured" her concern over the embryos being giving a chance to live. BUT, she stated herself to Dr. Phil that she couldn't imagine having children "out there in the world" that she wasn't caring for and guiding. And honestly, I believe that her personal opinion regarding that is due to the fact that she was unable to adopt herself, earlier in her life, which she also told Dr. Phil about.

Her viewpoint is in and of itself is selfish, conceited, and totally lacking in humility. And *I* do not believe that "pro-lifers" should be guilted into contributing to this woman because I am not convinced that she is pro-life herself... She is pro-Nadya.

She will get help. Even Dr. Phil said that he was going to be reaching out through his Foundation to get her help. And I do not have a problem with THE BABIES receiving help... and I do feel COMPASSION for them. In fact, I have prayed for them daily, just as I have for a set of twins born to one of our church families. But compassion does not = money or things. And as for my "Christian" perspective on the situation, to Nadya Suleman, I say you reap what you sow.