What is your plan?

[Darla Shine]

A few months ago I woke up with numb hands, feet, and then my right arm went dead. A week or so later I ended up in the hospital with chest pain. I have a heart condition and heart disease runs in my family so of course I am thinking heart attack. That was seven weeks ago.

While in the emergency room I ran into one of my closest friend's and her mother. I told you all about this. She was checking in for elective valve replacement. She was full of life, rosey cheeked and joking around.

Now she is dead.

A few months earlier this woman's granddaughter committed suicide. A teenage girl dared to shoot herself by her boyfriend. A horror story. As her mother drove down the highway in search of her little girl she passed her car. A lonely and scared teenage girl who needed her mommy, took her boyfriend's advice 'no one cares about you, why don't you just blow your brains out' and she is gone.

Her boyfriend is not in jail. Evidently this is not a crime, to dare someone to kill themselves.

At the service for this grandmother many said, she was meant to die to go look after her grandaughter. Now they are together.

Others said, she died because the doctor was negligent.

Over the past six months a lot of my friends and family have hit hard times. From losing jobs to houses, it is heart breaking. Why? Why do some people get to keep their homes while some don't?

Why are some people born into wealth while other babies go hungry?

My friend Squire Rushnell the author says there are no coincidences that every thing is a 'GOD Wink' and that every single action is meant to be. Do you believe that? Do you make your own destiny or is it chosen for you? Is abuse, poverty, and neglect chosen for you? Can you change your destiny on your own by hard work? Do some people have a black cloud over their head?

How many mistakes would you take back? How many things would you change? What would you do differently in the future?

Rick Warren, the author of the 'Purpose Driven Life,' says God has a plan for each of us. But are we living that plan?

A woman wrote me yesterday after my radio show. She asked me if she was living her plan. How would I know if she was. Only she could answer that. But can any of us answer that question?

[Fabian]

My plan was (after a lot of soul searching) and I made this plan at Christmas after losing my job in a most horrible way:

To get out of the corporate world. It was holding my life back, all I did was worry about company money and slog my guts out. I was loyal, made them millions, and they completely screwed me over. Learnt a BIG lesson there. I was earning too much money to have a child, and the merest hint of pregancy would leave you with no job. It was a Man's world alright. Surprised I lasted as long as I did!!

To help others and stop being selfish, forget material things, prada shoes aren't important. (i've even packed them away now along with my power dressing business suits as they symbolise to me so much about how stupid, selfish and materialistic I was.) I still wear my Fiorelli boots though!!!

To have my own family, and also open my home and heart to others who need it.

To become a happy, skilled housewife with a happy home that runs like clockwork.

To set myself and my husband up in business to make this possible, but allow me to be at home.

am I living my plan?

YES :) and I thank my lucky stars that I am. Along my so far short journey down this path, I am learning every day what is important, I have lost some friends who now think I am boring, and I have made lots of new friends who think I am not!! My family say that I am a much nicer person to be around, which makes me happy and sad that I never realised this before.

I worry about what I would have become had I not realised this?

[Norah]

Great post Darla. Funny, our sermon at church was about these very questions. Is everything chosen for us? Why do bad things happen to good people? How do we know if we are living the life we are supposed to?

Firstly, I think that many families are losing their homes as a wake up call to what's important. Sad, but I think that for so long our country has accepted this sickness called greed and we are now reaping what we sow. For too long many have put their focus on having the bigger house, biggest tv, designer clothing, luxury cars, newest boats, atv's, furniture, jewelry, toys for their kids, etc...
It's a sickness. I think America is finally waking up and realizing that none of that is what is truly important!

Think about in the Bible when Israel, (God's chosen people), would rebel against him. What happened? They would be struck with some sort of calamity. Something which would cause them to turn from their wicked ways and come back to him. I think that is also going on here.

I believe we all have free will. We choose the life we are living. I do believe that God does allow challenges to come into our lives to help us grow in different ways. Sometimes all it takes is a little discomfort and our character is pruned in some way. Others, it is a tragedy that forces us to change, learn, or turn to God. I don't suppose to know why some awful things happen. Who are we to question God's infinite wisdom? We just can't see from His scope what is happening and for what reason. Read Job 38. It is one of the most beautiful passages.

That said, I have made it through many trials in my 31 years. I've watched my alcoholic father come to God and remain clean for 22 years now. I've been physically and emotionally abused by a bf in hs. I drove drunk as a teenager and came thisclose to dying in a car crash. I had a close friend kill himself by jumping off of a bridge 2 hours after I had been hanging out with him. My ds's twin did not make it. I had a miscarriage late last year. My dh has essentially been living away from us for the past year due to his work leaving me to care for our 4 young children alone. We have lost my grandmother to Alzheimer's. I am now watching on the sidelines, helplessly, as my older sister is killing herself with her anorexia.

I have had my share of pain. I know that at the time each of these incidents took place I thought it was an injustice. Yet, through each one, I came out with a little less sin, or a little more compassion. I came out with a deeper understanding that as much as I believe that I know better than God, He is a much better pilot than I am. With Him in the driver's seat and me following in His will, I am able to withstand much more. I'm able to move on past the obstacles and stay focused on what's important. Learn from my mistakes, learn from trials.

I'm sorry I wrote so much! This was just so powerful for me because I've been thinking about it lately and then the message yesterday was about this very subject! I hope I made any sense at all! :)

[Lauren M.]

Wow, thank you for sharing that, Norah!! I agree with you...these trials serve to help us "grow in grace". I don't know why some people have to go through bigger trials than others, but I believe that is between God and them. I think everyone has an individual path in this journey!!

[chrissyd]

It's not experiences that are bad--it's how you see them. A positive attitude makes all the difference. I truly believe everything happens for a reason.

[mamaof4]

I do want to post something here I am just not ready. I will come back to this though!!!!

[Theresa]

I do believe that things happen for a reason. I also believe that when bad things happen we have to remember that God is still there for us. And when life doesn't go the way we want, we should find comfort in God. I do think that I am living my plan because I believe that being a wife and mother is what I have been called to do.

[Fabian]

I do believe that things happen for a reason. I also believe that when bad things happen we have to remember that God is still there for us. And when life doesn't go the way we want, we should find comfort in God. I do think that I am living my plan because I believe that being a wife and mother is what I have been called to do.


My sentiments exactly!!! Well done you :)

[fletchmom2]

I do believe that things happen for a reason. I also believe that when bad things happen we have to remember that God is still there for us. And when life doesn't go the way we want, we should find comfort in God. I do think that I am living my plan because I believe that being a wife and mother is what I have been called to do.

I agree with you tessy. I feel the exact same way. And I try to live by the quote, "never regret anything you do for it made you happy at that time."

[mamaof4]

This is really hard to write, I guess that's why it took so long for me to get here..

About 2 1/2 years ago we sold our old house. From there my husband wanted to go into a rental. We weren't finding anything we liked. He wanted lots of land and no neighbors. He thought we should just rent until we found something we both liked. I listend to everyone else and made the biggest mistake of our lives.. Everyone told me we couldn't keep uprooting the kids and we needed to get settled for them for school... Against my husbands better jugement I made the final decision..
After we bought the house and everything was said and done before we moved in my husband thought he smelled mold in the downsatirs ( it's a bi-level ). He cut a hole in the wall and found black mole. Not just a little but the whole downstairs was covered. 4-6 ft. around the bottoms of the walls. Needless to say we completely gutted everything down to the studs.
Now 2 years later we are just now getting ready to re-drywall..
This house has drained us of all our time and money..
Instead of my husband coming home to a peaceful feeling and being glad to pull in the driveway after a long day at work, he pulls in and gets a pit in his stomach...
It hurts my heart so bad you have no idea..
Now that the economy is so bad there are houses around us going for 200,000 with 5 bedrooms and atleast 5 acres. We have over that in our house and it isn't even done..
Now if we were renting we would be set...
Over our little break I started reading " created to be his help meet ". Now if I had only known. If I would have listened to my husband. If I would of obeyed him things would be so much different. He is killing himself between his job and this house.. And it really is killing me.. I feel so guilty. He doesn't resent me. He just said once the house is done he would like to move. It's sad though because he has done all the work himself and he is such a craftsmen. But if he can let it go then I must let it go too...
I guess what I am trying to say is, if I would of prayed to God more then maybe he would of opened my heart more to my husband.. now this house has probably taken 10 years off his life because his health isn't that good to begin with.. ( another story another time )..

[Seashell]

Bless your heart, you are probably spending too much time worrying over something that is "meant to be". Never Know, maybe after the house is all fixed up you may decide it is your dream home, never know. "Purpose" is meant to teach us something. It sounds like you have learned a lot already.

[mamaof4]

Unfortunetly, I have learned a lot. I just feel it was at my husbands expense.. You never know, we have talked about just buying property and using it on the weekends, Once this house is done.... I am leaving up to my husband and God. I pray to God and ask Him to guide us both everyday...

[Seashell]

Unfortunetly, I have learned a lot. I just feel it was at my husbands expense.. You never know, we have talked about just buying property and using it on the weekends, Once this house is done.... I am leaving up to my husband and God. I pray to God and ask Him to guide us both everyday...

No worries then, you are in good hands.;)

[mamaof4]

Thanks Seashell, Every little bit of encouragement helps.....

[Darla Shine]

You cannot look back and wonder. I will drive you crazy. Look forward.

[may20]

What is my plan? I figured out a long time ago that I would never be rich or famous; my name would never be the one in lights; nothing I do will be worth noting in a history book. But, someone I touch will do grand things because I was a part of their life. I just don't know who that person is.

God gave us free will, but He also knows what we will choose. If you have a specific life mission, God will guide your path so that you can accomplish what you are meant to do. Have you ever made a choice, then found yourself back having to choose something else and the choice you rejected the first time popped back up? Yeah, that's God telling you something. But He doesn't make you choose, so you can choose to not do it, again.

[momov3]

Wow! Lots of good stuff here to make you think. Thanks to everyone for sharing their thoughts. We're are kind of at a crossroads right now in our lives where there are some big decisions we will be making (that may involve a move so thanks momof4 especially because I needed to hear much of what you wrote). I know I will have to turn it over to God and let Him lead us in the right direction but it is so hard to just let go sometimes, you know?

[Ann77]

To mamaof4, don't beat yourself up over the worries with your house. That could happen to anyone, and it does. I know so many people who have bought houses and get in there and the house is eaten up by termites for example. You can't catch termite damage on an inspection, because it involves tearing down walls. I know someone else who bought a house and the foundation had to be rebuilt. The house had to be jacked up! It happens to the best of us.

[mamaof4]

Ann77, Thanks for those encouraging words.. I really appreciate it!!!!! Right now in this point in time I am leaving up to God to direct us on what to do next... If we are are suppose to stay or go I believe God will let us know!!!!

[Tiffany]

Jeanine - Thank you for sharing that with us. I love what Darla said

You cannot look back and wonder. I will drive you crazy. Look forward.


But how do you move forward, I think so many of women have that issue - we dwell on what happened, how do we get past 'the past'?

[mamaof4]

I hear ya Tiffany, I guess that's what our downfalls are. We just need to put our trust in God and go from there!!!!

[Dina]

I know this sounds crazy -- but it is the times that I have struggled the hardest, been the saddest or most worried that I value most. How else do you question what life is about? Not when things are great -- I'm too happy to see areas that I can strengthen and improve. But, when a family member is sick, when someone is dying, when I have been miserable at work, etc. -- these are the times my perspective gets very clear. These are the times I'v pushed myself to survive. God may have put the obstacle in my path just for this reason -- to see what I'm made of, how deep my faith is, or to see just how good I am at exercising my free will. I don't know what His Plan or my Plan is at the moment. I've been feeling blue and have been working out of a rut. I do know that when the sun shines for me again, I will notice it, and not take it for granted.

[mamaof4]

Hey Dina, I am sorry to hear you are in a rut. It happens to ALL of us. Some where along the line we ALL fall into it. But it will pass.. Did you feel that?? I sent a great big hug to you!!! You know there is a saying something like God made crisis christans. He will keep you in a crisis to keep you close to Him. Because sometimes when things are going great we kinda forget. So the crisis are always there to help us remember!!!!!

[Dina]

Thanks so much for your kind words and your hug. That means a lot to me, really.
I have no real crisis at the moment -- I just am out of sorts and pushing myself through. Thanks again!

[Darla Shine]

We all go throught his Dina.

The hard thing is that being a full time mommy and wife, is often a thankless job and sadly disrespected by our society. A few weeks ago I turned to my husband and said 'do you ever wonder how we always have what we need?' I don't know why I said this at the time but he replied, well I know you will get it done. And so maybe we want to hear more often that what we do matters. And my husband is so good at appreciating me, I am lucky. But still, we all know here that there are long days and sleepless nights and worry, and sometimes it can feel lonely, monotonous, overwhelming or chaotic. We often are squeezed between generations of elderly parents and crying babies.

Connor came home tonight with Straight A's. I was thrilled for him. That is my plan. To live for my family. To be here for them. Sometimes I flip out. I scream. I cry. I lose it. We are all doing the best we can.

I wrote in my book it would be easier to lay in bed with the blankets over your head. It it is easier to be unhappy, miserable, to have a bad marriage. Having a great marriage, being a great mom, being happy, now that takes work. You have to want it and work for it and sometimes you have to push yourself through it.

I really believe with every bit of my soul that we are living the best years of our lives. Your children home with you, this is it. You can never get these years back.

[mamaof4]

Well said Darla... I know there are times I get so overwelmed I walk around thinking what should I do next. Then I see all the work and feel like I need to lay down. But then I get that spark back and get back on top of things.. It is hard, sometimes very hard trying to please everyone ( kids and hubby ) at once.. There really is no me time. Atleast not for me and atleast not right now. I am sure once my kids are older I will have more time and by then I will miss them. You know Trace Atkins song " your gonna miss this " It's true you just don't realize it at this moment..I am so thankful to all you girls because I get my dose of reality everyday......

[Darla Shine]

It is important that every day you have some 'me' time. Even if that means being able to sit down and flip through a magazine for ten minutes. No matter how small your children are you can work them into your 'me' time. Now that spring is here taking a walk, planting flowers, sitting on the porch, all great ways to have some 'me' time and you can involve your children. Drag out the pack and play or strap them into the stroller. When Hannah was a baby I could only get her to nap in the car. Every day I went for a drive with my big coffee and newspaper and by the time I got to the beach she was out. I would sit there and love the quiet time.

This is why you make a schedule and stay organized. If you stay on top of your chores and you house is under control you won't feel overwhelmed.

[Dina]

Thanks, Darla. I'm serving so many "masters" these days -- I feel like I'm doing a lot, and yet getting not much done -- or getting it done particularly well. Then I feel like relaxing, but yet I feel restless. I swear -- I wonder if it is hormones, sometimes! I just don't feel content, and that is not like me -- but it is forcing me to chug along nonetheless.

[mrspineau]

Hi Darla, and everyone!

I believe that our destiny and how our lives end up are not the same things.

How are lives end up comes to fruition because of two things. One, because of the situation that surrounds you, and two, the choices you make while you are in that situation. No matter how your life is in the present, good or bad, it would have been different had you made even one choice differently. Im not saying better, but just different. Your destiny is what is meant for you on a greater level. Your purpose. And I think that when you know what it is, you really just know. Like being in love. You just know it. Some are lucky enough to have a good situation around them and then they happen to make the right choices. I think that all societies operate in very set ways that are unlikely to change, and that is obviously effecting the human race as a whole and and our prosperity. I think that all you can do in any situation is to figure out what outcome you want to get out of your life, and do whatever you can, big or small, to get there. That and pray.

[Darla Shine]

Very nice Mrs Pineau.