What can I do to change the world?

[Darla Shine]

So I am sitting here in my kitchen completely frustrated. What the hell am I doing? My two children are home. Hannah I have pulled ou of school on spite and Connor, well he is sick. Let me back up a bit.

So last week a girl in the third grade vomits all over the classroom. No 14 kids in that class, out with the flu. No one is getting swabbed so no one thinks its swine. Fast forward. One hundred kids in Connor's middle school alone out with the flu.

Now, we all know the reasoning, 'its no different than any flu, flu season, blah-blah-blah' so really why wipe your ass if you're going to take a dump again? How low do we go with our expectations? This is what I am thinking

Okay so kids all over my town are sick. 105 fever one day, next day kid is back at school. On the CDC website it says the kids are contagious seven days after the fever breaks, but no one knows this and these kids are back in school spreading their germs.

I am really pissed off. Angry with them mothers who don't even read up on anything. Why am I the only one reading the CDC's website? Angry at the moms sending their caughing, germ infested kids to school instead of keeping them home. Annoyed at the stupidity of the school for not shutting it down to disinfect the school. And outraged that I am the only one complaining.

Even if its no swine, even if it was the regular flu, 100 kids out with the flu is a story.

So today WHO raises pandemic level to 6. So what does this mean? More of nothing? Well I go to WHO and read that in 1918 deadly pandemic, the flu was mild in spring, with fever for a few days, and then you get it severe next fall/winter, when it picks up steam. So if we can't handle it now, how will we handle it then?

On top of this, GM is closing down, thousands of peole are laid off. S many people I know have lost their jobs. Now I am hearing people left and right saying they are in foreclosure, chapter 11, bankruptcy, broke... and worse than that... a few who have told me they are choosing not to pay their mortgages, screw the banks.

Okay, so last week Laura is on my radio show telling me that her mortgage will go up from 5.5% next year to who knows what.. so I try to help her by calling around and getting a mortgage person interested... she is military, good credit, easy right? Wrong! I was shocked to see how people could give a crap.

So my question is this, here we are, broken as a nation, that is how I see it. Broken. It is so frustrating. There is nothing I can do except to protect my little world. But I have to tell you, and I know you all feel it, something big is brewing. What do you all think? How do you feel?

I am keeping Hannah home on spite. I am not going to let that school get my daily state aid. I am going to chang my attitude and be very careful where I spend my money and who I let into my life. I am realizing that dopes like David Letterman who made over 30 million last year should be punished for his nasty mouth, but shame on me for tuning into it. I can't complain about products but then forget how bad the company is and still purchase their crap, like Abercrombi who whores out the teens, but there I am buying my son the latest shorts.

We could all have the 'what can we do attitude, nothing changes (my neighbor said this to me this morning regarding school flu epidemic) or we can decide to refuse to take this treatment.

I wrote my book to help housewives get respect but until we demand respect for us and our families nothing will change.

Okay there is my rant for the day. What are your opinions?

[SarahCBJ]

Darla, you hit on one of my biggest frustrations with working moms. At my son's school, they always will send their sick kids to school, because they don't have anyone to watch them and they won't take off work. I see kids vomiting, coughing, having fever, etc, but mom will send them anyway.

I HATE that the school gives out perfect attendence awards at the honor roll assembly. When my son asks me why he doesn't get one, I explan to him that it is not a really good award. Missing school when you are sick is not bad, and students should not get an award just because they did not get sick, or because mom sent them to school regardless. That is not award-material, in my opinion.

At the end of the year assembly, one child in my son's class got an award for perfect attendance all year, and I heard the other SAHM next to me mutter "So that's who keeps getting my kids sick!" And she is so right!

[Fabian]

I think its about time we all had courage to stand up and shout for our rights as wives, mothers, citizens, human beings.

People are complacent now about swine flu, as it is mild. well, good! lets all get it whilst things are mild and then we have immunity on some level when this mutates and becomes more virulent come oct/nov 09. As that is when (and maybe not even this year BTW!) we will see the true virus.

and about where you spend you money? here they have launched am ASDA (walmart family) school uniform for less than £5. whilst this is great for those struggling financially, we all know how and where this is produced. there is a fine line between family economy to global hardship when you live in a western country.

[Ann77]

We just went through the whole swine flu thing at our school.

I think my kid had it (as did the rest of my family). We never tested positive for it but his close buddies got a "probable swine" diagnosis and the symptoms we had were right on with swine flu, so I am assuming we had it.

I'll tell you another side of it that turned ugly.

So my kid was out for a week total. Because I wanted him to be 100% before he went back, with or without a flu diagnosis.

Anyway, because the school district did such a bad job communicating, panic and gossip set in. On the Monday after it started, the moms at drop-off all demanded the principal come out and address them before they would let their kids in the school.

So, he came out, addressed their concerns, told them no one had officially tested positive, and that they had disinfected all the buses and the school and they weren't closing because that wasn't the recommendation of the Dept. of Health and the CDC, blah blah.

Well. Some woman starts shouting out kids' names who are out of school sick. In public, in the middle of the crowd.

Like, "Well, what about Johnny and Jake and Mike??? They're out sick!!" Including my kid's name.

I have never been so pissed. If you have an issue, that's fine. But what kind of grown-ass woman shouts out children's names like that, in public. So I felt all weird, like people thought my kid was contaminated, even though I never got a diagnosis and was doing the right thing by keeping him home even if he did have it.

So then I have to go on a freaking damage control mission. I start calling moms I know, and just casually ask what was going on with the whole swine flu thing, acting dumb, and then drop the fact that my kid never had it after all.

I'll tell ya, it wasn't fun being on the other side either, even though I was doing everything the district were telling me to do.

[Ann77]

BTW I totally agree that these perfect attendance awards should be abolished.

[Jia]

And this kind of mind frame just seeps into adult thinking too! When I worked at a hospital, I had the flu (not swine since this was back in 2003) but my manager told me that I had no choice. I had to come in or I would lose my job (regardless of how sick I was, or if I had sick time available).

So I had to come in. I was so feverish and sick that customers (patients and their families) were freaking out because I was sick and working with their food! They made a huge deal out of it, and they rightly should have. What if my germs somehow got an immune suppressed person sick?

I can't believe that happened to you Ann. How insane.

[Jessakeena325]

At the end of the year assembly, one child in my son's class got an award for perfect attendance all year, and I heard the other SAHM next to me mutter "So that's who keeps getting my kids sick!" And she is so right!

Oh, how I love this one!!! As a substitute teacher I can tell you that even if those kids are sent to school sick, not only will the other children get sick but that child can infect the teacher who will then have to call a sub and then all you eventually have is subs who don't know exactly what the teacher is doing and a lot of wasted time and a lot of wasted education.

If your kid is sick, keep him home! Take the day off - yep that's what those sick days and personal days are for --- not for Lord & Taylor's big sale! Not for that 'me' day getting mani/pedis - it's for you and your kids to heal when they are sick. Or call grandma, auntie, uncle, etc. Hire a babysitter who doesn't care about getting sick. There are just so many options.

I'm sorry but school is NOT NOT NOT a babysitter. It is an institution of learning!!!!!!

Sorry for the rant but I just think back to when I was a kid and when kids for sick a fever or throwing up were a granted week off of school. Now they go home on Tuesday and are back on Wednesday. ugh!

[Jessakeena325]

Well. Some woman starts shouting out kids' names who are out of school sick. In public, in the middle of the crowd.

Like, "Well, what about Johnny and Jake and Mike??? They're out sick!!" Including my kid's name.

I have never been so pissed. If you have an issue, that's fine. But what kind of grown-ass woman shouts out children's names like that, in public. So I felt all weird, like people thought my kid was contaminated, even though I never got a diagnosis and was doing the right thing by keeping him home even if he did have it.

How childish! That woman needs to grow up. Ever notice how many woman have never matured past high school??? Ugh.

[Jessakeena325]

....and now for my thoughts...

While I know we can't solve the nation's problems. I believe our nation has a lot of problems. Personally I think they stem by being the "ME" generation. As in I want it now, give it to me. As in a ridiculously need to keep up the Jones'. I have to have what everyone else has and having it better I don't care what it costs me. I have to be the best and all eyes have to be on me.

What got us into this mess? The feminists of the 60s and 70s who wanted us to have equal rights and choices. Somehow staying at home became the wrong 'choice'. So families would have two breadwinners. Those two breadwinners had more money so house prices climbed. Those two breadwinners wanted better cars so they would lease. Everything had to be bigger and better.

In my opinion this turned into absolute greed. The greed you see every day. Driving down a road, to stop at the stop sign isn't good enough for them, why should they have to stop? Running through red lights. Taking parking spots in a crowded lot when you have your blinker on.

Then selfish breadwinner A and B have kids, a McMansion, a McSummer Home and two luxury cars leased without any choice but continuing to be breadwinner a and b because they would be able to afford their lavish lifestyle otherwise.

Selfish breadwinner are so spent who can bother to be off to watch their children when they are sick so off to school where the 'help' aka child's teacher can watch them.

And there you have a pandemic - because there are tons of breadwinner a and b around.

Now, here's my solution....

I am going to simply live within my means or do my best to. In my twenties I was infatuated with breadwinner a and b and am now trying to dig myself out of that mess. My desire is more to pay off our debts and see my husband more than to spend money on another home and see my husband less. I want to know what it is like to be debt free.

I am trying to be the nicest person I know how. I will treat absolutely everyone I meet with respect. I will give everyone a smile.

I will wait my turn and try not to get impatient when waiting on a line that is slow. I will be patient at a stop sign and occassionally let the other person proceed first.

I think it's little acts of kindness that can be the seed needed to grow our country into a beautiful bloom regardless of who is in office and what is being done. It's the small things at home I can do to make my husband feel happy and loved and know that he is going into the world with a good state of mind ready to face whatever could face his way.

I know I just ranted on and I apologize. I just do want to see the world be a better place. I remember right after 9/11 for a couple of days, we saw a very different place where I live. It was like living in a different continuim. People were courteous and polite. No one honked their horns, no one cut anyone off. That was really amazing to me. (Of course life went almost full back to normal around here come the 17th - the following Monday) but just for a few days you saw something different in the American Spirit.

[lauramt]

Darla, I just want to say thank you for trying to help my family. I can't get anyone to talk to me either. I feel like the banks want me to fail. I'm hoping that in a few months, someone, somewhere will talk to me and help me with my mortgage. I don't know what will happen, but I'm praying that an answer will be found. God has always provided for me in the past and I know he'll show me the way. But thank you, thank you, thank you for trying.

I too have the frustration of the flu and sick kids at school. And not just the flu, but I just got done talking to my daughter's teacher because one of the kids in her class called her "a dick" because she borrowed a pencil and the tip broke. I am appalled in how our children are NOT being raised. In a survey of 23 kids in my daughters class, only 6 of them sit down for dinner with their families. That pisses me off. Parents are not paying attention to their responsibilities and raising the next generation of good adults. I just finished up my Girl Scout troop for the season. I went out of my way to give the girls awards, provide a pizza party, etc. Do you think the parents acknowledged my hard work? Not even a thank you. And if the parents didn't say thank you for my year of hard work, do you think the kids said thank you? NO! Children don't have manner these day. So not only are parents sending sick kids to school but they are loosing the core of the family. They are neglecting our society. Ok, I'll get off my soap box.

I think there will be a blessing somewhere out of all of this economic problems. It will get worse before it gets better. I think it's the Lords way of saying to people "you need to remember what is important in life." Sorry if I rambled.......

[Jessakeena325]

Laura, that is such a shame that the children don't say thank you nor the parents. I always make my niece say that when we leave on of her friend's parties. Well, she gets very uncomfortable and doesn't want to but I make her and always it a point to thank the host myself and give at least on comment on how hard she must've worked. But given my niece's reaction (and her, excuse my french but see you next tuesday kind of mother) I can safely assume her mother doesn't thank the host nor make her child thank them. It's disgusting!!!!!

[Ann77]

I just finished up my Girl Scout troop for the season. I went out of my way to give the girls awards, provide a pizza party, etc. Do you think the parents acknowledged my hard work? Not even a thank you. And if the parents didn't say thank you for my year of hard work, do you think the kids said thank you? NO!

Anyone who volunteers to run things in their community these days gets huge kudos from me. My DH coached a kiddie soccer season once, so I was the "coach's wife" which apparently meant I worked for these parents. I couldn't believe how people treated us, like we were their paid servants.

[Ann77]

Sorry, one more post.

Awesome blog post from this science blog about "Drive-by Tylenol (http://scienceblogs.com/effectmeasure/2009/06/swine_flu_drive-by_tylenol.php)"

Here is the best quote:

I just heard about Drive-by Tylenol for day-care and school age kids. This is the practice of stuffing a couple of Tylenol down the little tyke's throat to bring down a fever just before entering the daycare center. The objective is to get 4 or 5 hours of work in before being called to school because your child has a fever. The underground lore about it includes not using any flavored Tylenol preps with red dye in them so that when the child urps up everthing after lunch there will be no tell-tale pink color savvy teachers will recognize.

[Jessakeena325]

Disgusting!!!!! Absolutely revolting!

[ruthieshome]

Hey Darla..
good for you on keeping your kids home...

I dont understand Moms these days either. I dont understand them giving coke to their babies in the bottle, and then YELLING at the kid in the store cause it wont calm down. I dont understand Moms I dont know .. who expect ME to watch there children at the park (or so it seems) as they walk off or talk on the phone paying NO attention to thier own children, who by they way go running off into the street!. I dont understand Moms who ride around in cars as thier children are facing backwards in the back seat and obviously NOT bulkled in. I dont understand why it seems most moms walk around living day to day so very unhappy and just CHOOSE to live with it. They are stressed because of work, because of the house, because of the kids, because of the husband, they are stressed cause they think they need this or that to make them happy. As a result, they are working, their children are in school or daycare so they can make money to buy things they dont really need. Now mind you.. they THINK they need it.. I mean what would people THINK OF ME if they knew I bought clothes for my kids at resale shops and garage sales! What would people think of me if they knew I havent bought a new pair of jeans in 3 years! what would people think of me if they saw me driving a beat up old car? ... What would THEY think?

You see where I am getting to...

As I see it.. Plain and simple they feel stuck. The send there kids to school cause it's thier daycare and they cant work if they have thier children all day. If they cant work they dont get paid. Its just a big huge circle .. a big huge ride they cant, won't or don't know how to get off of.

As I see it YOU can change the world by doing what you are doing.. by being a voice for those of us who are home ,. by being the light to those women who right now are on that crazy ride of not being at home and raising thier children. You can show them life CAN be different and...
oh

MY

THEY HAVE A CHOICE.

Isnt it interesting "we" as women fought for so long to have freedom of choice and here "we" are.. so many of us.. stuck. ... so ... wheres the freedom?

I still believe most women are doing the very very best they can.. they just havent seen any other way out.... thanks for helping show them.!

blessings
ruthie