Sex education in 6th grade!

[Darla Shine]

So last night Connor comes home upset. I ask him what is wrong. He says he is annoyed that all the boys are talking dirty. Like what I ask. "Mom, you know." I say about sexy stuff. "Yes," he says. So then he tells me on Friday of last week the gym showed the class a movie about 'reproduction' and they handed out fliers after talking, explaining about puberty and such.' Connor said he threw his away because he was so embarassed.

So after an hour long conversation this is what I learned..

Connor who up until now believed babies were born when doctors cut them out in an operation (this is what I told him)

Now knows a woman gives birth, baby comes out of vagina, and hw saw it in this movie.

Up until now Connor has not been told anything about sex from us. He is only 11 and his personality is very young, into mideival stuff, star wars, not girls.

But he was told all about intercourse in this class and video and now knows what happens.

Then in the literature it included a picture of a girls privates and a boys privates.

This was al taught in a co/ed environment.

I am so against this and so upset I could cry.

My son was robbed of his innocence. He was jarred emotionally. I was not informed of this. There should have been a consent form and I could have prepared him or actually opted out.

My husband is calling the principal.

I am totally against sex education this young. I am pissed.

[shoppingmamma]

Our school did it this year in 5th grade - it was mostly about changes in their bodies.

David received a note home PRIOR - I think they HAVE to notify parents - parents could opt their child out of this if they chose and see the video in advance if they'd like. The boys were in one room, the girls in another. The boys received a box of "goodies" to take home - it was deodorant and body wash, the girls got a box too - someone said it was tampons, pads and deodorant and body wash. The box was sealed and they were to open it at home.

They did not cover actual intercourse though....

[lauramt]

I would think they would have to have your permission to do that.

[Ann77]

Oh that's a nightmare. I would be so ticked! Thanks for the heads-up, I'll have to ask at our school when they inflict this on the children. To be honest, I don't want the schools doing any sex ed for my kids, we can do that ourselves, thank you very much.

[intrinsik]

We had our class start in 5th grade, but there was a consent form - they do it that young because some kids (not most, but some) start puberty around that age. They want them to be aware of what's going on. There is ALWAYS a consent form for that class.. I know a few friends of mine weren't allowed to take part because their parents had opted not to sign the form, and that's fine.

I'd be more upset about the fact that they didn't ask your permission as the parent rather than him knowing the facts of life at his particular age. That's what would make me mad. It should be your call whether he gets that information or not..

[ruthieshome]

oh Darla.. they teach it in our area in 4th grade! FOURTH! YIKES!

so sorry... I would be so made too!

did they not send a letter home telling you you could opt your child out of this?

[Chloe's_Momma]

Yeah you think 6th grade is bad?? President Obama announced during his campaign that he'd like to see sex-ed being taught during kindergarten. how freaking sick and awful is that?? I'm putting my children in a christian private school if i'm able, or homeschooling. I'm not going to shelter my kids by any means but I'm also not going to shove crap down their throat that will force them to grow up faster. My babies deserve a childhood.

[Jia]

Yeah, this is just another reason why I am determined to homeschool when Matt and I have kids.

I would be just as livid as you are Darla. That's ridiculous!

[Tiffany]

Thats crazy!!!! They should've sent a permission slip home. What the heck is going on??

[Jessakeena325]

Seriously, Darla??? I can't believe a school would do that without advance notice to the parents!!! AND in a co-ed situation! Is this the public or private school? I would be hoofing it to the Superintendent, forget the principal. That is RIDICULOUS.

I had sex ed. in fourth and in sixth grade but it was just the basics about getting your period and personal hygiene. In sixth grade, they went into why we get our periods and I did have some smart alecks that wanted to know more, about condoms and bananas - the poor school nurse. I was embarrassed sitting there!

But, Darla, please call the Superintendent - they should NOT be doing that without parental consent. I think that's even lawsuit material and I am the least litigious person!

[lamairs81]

Yeah, they should have sent something home. I remember they sent something home for my parents when I was in 5th grade. I'm not sure whether they split us up into boys & girls, but I think they might have. I went to a public school, but probably about 99% of them were Catholic, most of them even walked to the church next door in the morning for prayers or something. I don't think too much was said much beyonf the basics.

[cajunintransit]

Mine was in 5th grade too. And yes they had to have parents consent, but then I went to a private school. Mostly it was just changes in our body, but it skimmed over the sex stuff. I was one of those who started puberty early (I had my first period in the summer between 5th and 6th grade). And there are kids who are having sex at that age. I think it's something that parents should definitely educate their kids about (at an early age to be determined by the parents). However some parents don't feel or are not comfortable to talk about this subject with their children. Those children need to be informed that yes you can get pregnant the first time or while you're on your period (and all those other old wives' tales).

[cajunintransit]

Oops forgot to say that I think parents should be made aware of what's going on. They shouldn't just talk about/go over this randomly with no parental knowledge.

[harryshoney2002]

I remember when I was in school they sent a note home atleast a week in advance. My mom just kept me home that day. Honestly I dont think its up to the school at all. That is something that children should learn from their parents. My daughter's school just gave parents some info on how to talk to kids about it. To me its a big parent child bonding experience and I wouldn't want anyone to tale that away from us.

[Caliwife]

We had our class like that in the 5th grade and it was basically about the girls getting their periods, I don't remember them going into sex and they did require a consent form to be signed by the parents.

I think someone in your school district did a major booboo by not sending the consents home with the kids? Seems a little strange to me.

[blondemama]

OMG! Is he in public or private?

[lauramt]

I might be stoned for this but.... I think it's a good idea that they still have these presentations in school. Parents are not doing their jobs as parents. I mean, I never got the "sex" talk, everything I learned about sex was from friends or from experience. I think it's nice in theory if we say that sex should be learned about in the home and from a child's parent, but honestly parents are failing to even sit down for dinner with their kids. Most kids don't even get to see a loving relationship between two adults let alone how sex factors in to it. I would be upset if I had not been informed and allowed to "opt out" but honestly, I think kids need to know this stuff. Parents are not parenting. Maybe 5th grade is a little early, but I knew 13 year old girls who were no longer virgins. That's 8th grade!! And that was 20 years ago when I was in grade school. I can only imagine what goes on now.

[justjess]

I would be so mad if the school didn't send home a consent form before hand.

[Darla Shine]

It was a public school. I think there should be sex education but in high school not the sixth grade, and parents should have to consent to it. I would say no to it. But for all the kids who don't have hands on parents it needs to be there.

[tobyswife_89]

It was a public school. I think there should be sex education but in high school not the sixth grade, and parents should have to consent to it. I would say no to it. But for all the kids who don't have hands on parents it needs to be there.

In a perfect world high school would be fine but in reality kids in Junior High are getting pregnant and doing things they shouldn't be doing. I agree that parents should have to give consent and the parents should be able to opt out of it and teach their children about sex education at home.

[keltie]

We have it in sixth grade here, too. It's called "Family life." Permission slips and a big packet of info were sent home at least one week in advance and the teacher talked about it at Back to School Night. We knew about it coming all year long. I am really shocked that you didn't know this was happening prior.

On the district website parents could actually go in and preview EVERYTHING they would be learning if they wished to do so. Most parents, myself included, allowed their kids to attend and those that didn't went to another classroom for that period.

[ArmyWifey]

I would be livid! I'm all for sex ed in schools but first of all I think they should seperate the boys & girls to do it, and teach them appropriately. And I also think this is too young, at this age it's up to the parents to answer any questions their children may ask, not the school to take it upon themselves to OVEReducate them on the subject :(

Cody unfortunately knows way more than he should and it's all thanks to his lovely biomom *sigh*

*hugs*

[harryshoney2002]

I think its good for kids who parents cant or wont teach them. I had plenty of sex talks from mom starting at 9 1/2 years old. She was very easy to talk to about it when I had a question, but I still got pregnant when I was 15. I only had been with one guy so I wasn't just getting around or anything. I think maybe I learned too much too early because I thought I was responcible enough to have sex at 15 years old. I guess thats why I want to be the one that decides when and how they learn it.

[Ann77]

I definitely think that the boys and girls should be separate.

I think a preview night is a great idea.

[SarahCBJ]

We had this in 5th grade, but it was not about sex, it was the "puberty" info basically, and boys and girls were separated. We also had the consent forms.

I think that schools should teach this. As much as we know that this responsibility should fall to the family, I think we all have to acknowledge that our families are not the norm. In fact, we are really the minority.

Living in Louisiana, we have severe socioeconomic disparity, and in the inner city, the concept of family is sometimes gone. Single parents are working 2 jobs just to keep the lights on, and kids are are barely getting enough care to survive. They just don't have caring adults in their lives who will teach them the facts of life (again, I am taking about the puberty presentations, not sex ed, or abstainence ed, or whaever they call it now). The decline of solid families means that schools sometimes have to take over teaching some basics that they never had to before.

[stevie]

I might be stoned for this but.... I think it's a good idea that they still have these presentations in school. Parents are not doing their jobs as parents. I mean, I never got the "sex" talk, everything I learned about sex was from friends or from experience. I think it's nice in theory if we say that sex should be learned about in the home and from a child's parent, but honestly parents are failing to even sit down for dinner with their kids. Most kids don't even get to see a loving relationship between two adults let alone how sex factors in to it. I would be upset if I had not been informed and allowed to "opt out" but honestly, I think kids need to know this stuff. Parents are not parenting. Maybe 5th grade is a little early, but I knew 13 year old girls who were no longer virgins. That's 8th grade!! And that was 20 years ago when I was in grade school. I can only imagine what goes on now.


Darla, do you think that your son could be upset that you werent 100% honest with him, and maybe a little shocked about the information he learned?
I agree with you being upset about not being informed, and I agree with the difference between puberty education and intercourse education...but what has happened has happened. I do not believe he has been robbed of his childhood though. he can still climb trees, he can still have an imagination and he can still probably sneak delicious food behind your back.

Have you sat down and had a conversation with him?

[may20]

DD has had the puberty talk at school twice now -- as a 4th grader and as a 5th grader. But it wasn't anything she didn't already know.

The school should have sent home a permission slip before this, but this is the direction that we are going -- fewer parental rights and more government involvemet. Yes, BHO wants to expose Kindergarteners to sex ed. Absolutely ludicrious, I think. But teaching 6th graders how babies are made isn't too much, if the parents know in advance. 6th graders are getting pregnant. They need the truth about what happens to their bodies. Oh, and it should NOT be taught co-ed.

Darla, I'm sorry that your son was distresed by this. Hopefully, you and your husband will be able to talk to him about this and calm him.

[InkelyWinkely]

6th grade is a good time to learn about reproduction and puberty as they will be going through puberty around that time, and becoming sexually active (according to statistics)..as long as they aren't talking about birth control or abstinance or anything moral, which is your place.

Sounds like he learned exactly what they are supposed to according to public school curriculum. They usually just call this a biology lesson, as that is exactly what it is.

I know you are upset, but that is because you are his mom. It is good that he learned how his body works and such...as longt as they didn't touch on morals you really have nothing to fuss about , as this is the way it goes in schools now.

Your only other option is to homeschool. Wouldn't you much rather that he not learn it from other kids?

[InkelyWinkely]

I should add, I think you should be upset about not being notified and about them teaching this in a coed environment.

Around this time is the norm in public school for these things, though. In 6th grade we already had girls pregnant, so they taught us in 4th and 6th.

[GeeksWife]

I'm sure this is illegal. I always thought until high school they had to inform the parents?

[miamigrl]

Darla, this may be too late, but they do have to get your permission first legally--if you didn't receive a waiver, he shouldn't have been present without your okay. Talk to your superintendent. Someone didn't follow through.