I hate people!

[Darla Shine]

Okay so are people getting more rude or are they just stupid? Is it the computer age? Is everyone so in their own world that they have forgotten how to interact or have basic social skills?

So on Hannah's open school night which was last week but I am still thinking about this, the moms all show up. A few fathers but mostly the moms. The little desks are set up next to each other butted up so right in front of your face is another mom sitting in her child's seat. So I walk in and sit down. The woman across from me is just sitting there not looking up. So I say, 'hello, I am Hannah's mom' and she says hi. I say, who is your child and she says his name. And the same thing happens with the mom who comes and sits next to me. Now, I understand some moms may be shy but are people this backwards that they don't say hello or acknowledge anyone sitting in their face?

Next story,
Hannah has a play date the other day. The girl has never been here before and comes home on the school bus. Two hour later as planned her mom comes to pick her up. I don't know this woman. She pull in the driveway and calls the girl on her cell phone to come out. WHAT! So I sent the kid out but I was so angry I wanted to go out there and ask that mom if she was out of her mind.

I go to the door, introduce myself to the parents, thank them, and make sure my daughter thanks them. No wait, let me take that back... I don't let my daughter go home to anyone's house who I haven't met or don't know.

Next incident,
Connor calls the other day from the nurse's office saying he is sneezing like crazy. You remember I went to pick him up early. Well I walk into the nurse's office and she is sitting there talking to her assisitant and neither of them even look up! I said, hello, I am taking my son, and they look over and then keep talking. I can't believe that these women have no social or professional skills. Where was the, oh your son says this.. he may have that... you should give him this... feel better Connor?????? Are you kidding me.

The cashiers at the grocery store don't say hello and even the woman at the farm stand doesnt say hi. I know when I am in South Carolina it is completely different and everyone says hello and how are you. So yes, part of it is New York. But that doesn't explain these parents. Geez!

[shoppingmamma]

cashiers here are the same depending on where I go - Walmart is the WORST, Target better and HyVee - our grocery store is pretty good but their slogan is a helpful smile in every aisle - I think they make people say hi! LOL ;)

I posted like a month ago about Sara and Mikey's parent's night - one guy was eating yogurt and licking the spoon and cup during the teacher's talk. I counted him plus FOUR other parents in the Kindergarten class TEXTING during the whole presentation. In Sara's several moms sat together and chatted the WHOLE time - while the teachers were talking and I saw atleast another 3 texting!

[Dana]

Growing up in Montana, everyone, and I mean everyone waved when they drove by you - may not know them, but at least you got a "howdy". Phil would always ask "Who is that?" and of course 9 times out of 10 I had no clue.

I don't know what it is - maybe your right - maybe because we are so used to interacting via online means, we have lost the ability to communicate face to face. Or, is it yet more of the "Me" mentality?

Or, maybe everyone hates you, LOL!

Just kidding, of course :10:

[Ann77]

We have Back to School night tonight, I'm going to watch to see how people act.

I think people are so busy these days, that they just don't have the bandwidth to even be friendly these days. It's terrible.

I know here, there are mom cliques too, so if they already have a few friends they don't care about meeting anyone new. Just like high school!

[jennypenny]

I am not sure, Darla. It may be a combination of both. (technology & bad manners)
By nature, I am a friendly, talkative person. People at my son's new school are just now warming up to me. Basically, I forced them to talk. Keep getting in their face. Even if they don't like you, they will be forced to interact.
I just feel sorry for Hannah's little, friend. Obviously, her parents flat don't care. The school nurse is a tool. That one, I would complain about to the principal.

[mamaof4]

I have noticed around my parts, people are RUDE. But it is one of those, my s#%@ don't stink kind of things. When I was back home in New Orleans it was different. There really is such a thing as southern hospitality.

Now I will admit people were A lot ruder up here in ohio, but over the last 5 years I have seen a huge differance. Now it is rubbing off onto the kids. Kids are just as rude...

Crazy , but I think people just don't care anymore. Instead of walking with their heads up, I have noticed they now walk looking down. Is it so they don't have to say hi?

I don't know, I miss the hey honey, how are you days!!!!

[miya's mom]

For awhile I have been on this kick about how rude people are. I hold doors for people and rarely ever get a thank you...that drives me up the wall. I live in the country were most everyone knows everyone and at one time everyone waved to you when you drove by now when I wave I get the look like what the heck is your problem. I say hi to the cashiers in the store and get a look from them like I am crazy. I was at the store and I said "excuse me ma'am to this lady and she snapped at me and told me she is no ma'am that would be her mother and she was clearly older then me. I apologized because I was shocked that she didn't see it as a form of respect. I don't know if I is my area but, it breaks my heart that people look at me funny when my 3 year old uses manners. I just don't understand why it has come to this!

[ruthieshome]

I totally said "HI.. how are you?" to a lady who is a Mom of another kids my kids are around during the week. She totally ignored me! There is NO WAY she didnt hear me, we made eye contact and everything! but she had NO response.
I thought it was because I homeschool my kids... but now.. maybe its just the way some people are today.
she has since warmed up to me.. but it took months!

[Tiffany]

Its sad - yesterday at the supermarket, the cashier barely spoke - I make a point to look people right in the eye and speak to them. Some people barely look at you or even speak

[Seashell]

I grew up in Montana also Dana, outside of Great Falls, on the Browning Reservation. Do you know where that is?

The town I live in now is very friendly, it is an unspoken rule in my town that you must wave at everyone you pass on the road, people at the mail box, and the people on the tractors. The people who are non-wavers are known as stuck up and trust me when I say they are known, so you can best believe I am a waving fool. When I go in the cities people look at me like I am crazy, but most of the time I will get a hello or a wave back. My moto with my kids is 'smile and wave'. You should see them at the town parade. No kid in town can compete with the amount of candy they get; )

Kindness is contagious, even if people are rude, keep being kind, not all will give in, but feel sorry for them, because life is so much more fun when we smile and wave, or even have a simple conversation with a stranger.

I always find that the gals love compliments. They are good conversation starters, compliment the shoes, or the hair, or jewelry, or their Child. You may make someones day !

[keltie]

My mom always talks about that Southern hospitality. Out here, I would say people are friendly at back to school nights and soccer games, etc. But at Target, pretty apathetic.

I agree with Shell. about kindness being contagious, but I cannot imagine Darla being anything other than friendly and gracious. That's strange, Darla. Maybe it's a NY thing.

[Darla Shine]

Believe me I kill them with kindness. No one is going to get away with this behavior. I said hello to those moms and introduced myself. I always say 'how are you today' to the cashier. And when the moms at the school try to not talk I purposefully get in their faces and say something.

The worst is the men lately. I saw one father at the grocery store with his son basically cut in front of an older lady on line and he never said excuse me or anything. I was really shocked and said out loud, excuse you! He gave me a look and I said, did you grow up with a pack of wolves or something. He then called me a bitch... Then I said, Sir you just proved my point. I guess you beat your wife too and I walked away.

My husband is the best. The more I see these gross men out there I thank God my husband is a good boy. He would never cut a woman and in fact would stand back to let her go.

Do you remember last year the fat pig man who walked between my bff and I as were were conversing in Starbucks? He walked between us and never said excuse me and I was outraged. And remember the guy who backed up and hit my bumper after I beeped at him for cutting me off?

Maybe Dana is right, everyone hates me. LOL

[Ann77]

Darla, I think it's partly where you live. No offense to Long Island.

P.S. I say this as someone from an area with an equally rude reputation (NJ).

[Jia]

I grew up in Utah where everyone is nice. One of my friends who is gay was afraid of moving to Utah cause he thought people would be mean to him but the opposite happened. People told him to have a wonderful day, God bless, and happy to meet you all the time.

Here it's a little different. People are either overly comfortable with you. Like waitresses sitting down at your table to take your order, or they just don't speak english so they are quiet and avoidy.

[miya's mom]

Darla, I think it's partly where you live. No offense to Long Island.

P.S. I say this as someone from an area with an equally rude reputation (NJ).


I have to agree being from Pa is notice it that Pa NJ NY people do tend to be a little less polite then other parts of the country and of course I don't mean everyone I just mean in general. :)

[sam700]

Having moved to the south from Michigan 4 years ago, I have to agree that it is, in part, where you are. When I moved here I found people here turn on the charm to your face and are as sweet as sugar, but a lot of them are ruthless and gossip like crazy behind your back.

Even in the area of Michigan I was in it wasn't like your experiences. I guess I'll take the "bless her heart" over the flat out rudeness any day.

[Ann77]

Having moved to the south from Michigan 4 years ago, I have to agree that it is, in part, where you are. When I moved here I found people here turn on the charm to your face and are as sweet as sugar, but a lot of them are ruthless and gossip like crazy behind your back.

Even in the area of Michigan I was in it wasn't like your experiences. I guess I'll take the "bless her heart" over the flat out rudeness any day.

So true!

I worked in Dallas for a summer and everyone was so nice to my face. But then they wouldn't exactly be nice in their actions, nothing really bad, but their niceness to my face didn't mean they wanted to be my friend. In Jersey, they would have just ignored me lol.

I guess I'm used to it here, but I like the way I know if someone likes me or not in Jersey now that I think about it.

[tobyswife_89]

I have taught my boys to open doors for me and for any female that comes to a door at the same time as them. I don't know that they do it at school but they do in public and it amazes me how many times women-older and younger will go to another door and open it themselves instead of going through the one that is being held open.
My husband likes to open the car door for me when we get in to go somewhere; he gets a little peeved when I open it myself. He doesn't shut it though because he is afraid that he might shut me in the door. When we are at the store if someone looks like they need help we always try to offer to help. Unfortunately it seems like manners are a dying art form. Whenever I used to volunteer at school it always aggravated me to see how rude the children were not just to other children but to teachers and adults as well. If the parents won't teach manners at home where are they going to learn them? The teachers are too busy teaching to the proficiency tests to tackle the job of manners and truth be told it should be taught by the parents and just reinforced at school.

[shoppingmamma]

I guess I'll take the "bless her heart" over the flat out rudeness any day.


There was this comedian on Comedy channel one night that was from the south and did this whole bit about how you can say anything you want as long as you smile and add "bless her/his heart" before or after it.

"bless his heart he's not blessed in the looks department"
"he's not the brightest bless his heart"

It was kinda funny - every now and then I'd hear it in FL.

[Caliwife]

I grew up in Texas (Houston) and for the most part, everyone is very friendly. People speak to one another, men always hold the door for a woman, you might say "have a blessed day" etc. I remember my first trip to NYC, for business, a man let a door slam in my face and I had a suit case!! I was so shocked, welcome to NYC!! Now, I live in So.Cal and people are pretty rude here. People I have gotten to know here say to me "you are so nice, you're a Texan." Well, to me it's common sense to be nice and friendly. Also, in the grocery store recently I was waiting for an older lady to get something in front of me and a young man jumped in front and grabbed something off the shelf. I just thought how sad for that young man (20's or 30's) and how sad for the woman he lives with, if he has one! There are tons of NY and NJ transplants out here and they are rude!! They always seem to be in a hurry and afraid that you are going to get something that they want. I don't understand that mentality but I didn't grow up with millions of other people around so I never had to grab a seat on the subway or anything like that. I'm sure there are nice NY and NJ people but it seems the majority are not.

[Ann77]

There are tons of NY and NJ transplants out here and they are rude!! They always seem to be in a hurry and afraid that you are going to get something that they want. I don't understand that mentality but I didn't grow up with millions of other people around so I never had to grab a seat on the subway or anything like that. I'm sure there are nice NY and NJ people but it seems the majority are not.

NYC is its own animal. People are definitely rude in there, you kind of have to be, it's so crowded. But then it rubs off on parts of NJ and NY suburbs.

I don't know what is in their hearts, but there is a outward rudeness or coldness that is shocking sometimes even to me and I've lived here my whole life.

[miya's mom]

[QUOTE=Ann77;364025]NYC is its own animal. People are definitely rude in there, you kind of have to be, it's so crowded. But then it rubs off on parts of NJ and NY suburbs.

It flow all the way down to Pennsylvania! LOL

[Seashell]

I saw one father at the grocery store with his son basically cut in front of an older lady on line and he never said excuse me or anything. I was really shocked and said out loud, excuse you! He gave me a look and I said, did you grow up with a pack of wolves or something. He then called me a bitch... Then I said, Sir you just proved my point. I guess you beat your wife too and I walked away.


The impertinence of others can also be contagious.

Smile and wave ; )

Not to mention in this day of age, that was pretty brave, your lucky this guy did not kick your ass in the parking lot, sorry to sound raw, but that is true. Some things are best left alone, they may not be worth the consequence.

[Darla Shine]

I know. I was shocked he called me a B.

Yesterday, my girlfriend called to tell me she was stalked and verbally attacked by a dad at the school line. Evidently she pulled in front of him and cut him off without realizing it and he followed her out of the car and in front of all the children was yelling at her and telling her children 'your mother is a crazy driver you should worry for you lives when you are in the car with her.' She kept walking and ignoring him and never said anything and she said she was shaking. Now this is a dad who has kids in that school. Then when she left he followed her all the way to her house beeping and yelling at her. When she pulled into her driveway he flipped her the bird and kept driving. I told her to call the police. People are on the edge.

[Ann77]

Yesterday, my girlfriend called to tell me she was stalked and verbally attacked by a dad at the school line. Evidently she pulled in front of him and cut him off without realizing it and he followed her out of the car and in front of all the children was yelling at her and telling her children 'your mother is a crazy driver you should worry for you lives when you are in the car with her.' She kept walking and ignoring him and never said anything and she said she was shaking. Now this is a dad who has kids in that school. Then when she left he followed her all the way to her house beeping and yelling at her. When she pulled into her driveway he flipped her the bird and kept driving. I told her to call the police. People are on the edge.

Oh. My. Word. That is why my kid rides the bus. I can't deal with those drop-off lines.

I would report that to the police.

People really are on the edge. I notice it on the roads, everywhere. I think people are really still fearful about the economy, whether they still have a job or not. There is a lot of fear out there, about all different things, and it's manifesting as anger.

[Caliwife]

Then when she left he followed her all the way to her house beeping and yelling at her. When she pulled into her driveway he flipped her the bird and kept driving. I told her to call the police. People are on the edge.

I probably would have said something to him like "you have nothing better to do than follow me home, sad, just sad"

[MrsB]

People are just getting rude and forgetting their manners. I detest going grocery shopping anymore. However, these rude people give me plenty of opportunities to teach my children how to treat people well.