One day in my crazy life

[Darla Shine]

I am in survival mode ladies. Its me against everyone. Or thats how I feel right now. In this time of unemployment, swine flu pandemic, war, and the basic breakdown of America... for me it means pull my family close, protect them, and do the best I can for them? So let me ask you, why doesn't every other mom feel like this?

Wednesday afternoon a girl in Hannah's class goes to the nurse with a Fever. Her mom won't / can't pick her up and so the girl is sent back to class to sit next to Hannah.

Thursday, the girl goes to school for the day. Again she sits next to Hannah. Hannah asks why she is in school if she is sick and girl says
'my mom said too bad I have to go.' Girl feels lousy all day and finally leaves early to go home.

Friday, Hannah wakes up sick. I call the school. I find out there is no protocol for notifying any parent about h1n1 and the school will not shut down under any condition. By Friday night Hannah has high fever.

Saturday, Doctor says Hannah has strep, could have had h1n1, but they are not testing for it and there is nothing they can give me for treatment as the government is running out of Tamiflu. Well, what treatment is there? What anti-virals do you have? None.

Sunday, east end of long island, the mist h1n1 vaccination is being given out. Several people I know have come dow with the virus simply from administering it. These people are now violently sick.

Monday, I keep both kids home.

Monday afternoon I get calls from several moms to tell me a child in Hannah's class started throwing up in class. Went to the nurse, his mom can't/won't pick him up. He is sent back to the class to sit in the corner. Isolated. How pathetic.

I also learn one child in her class has pneumonia and is in the hospital. Six kids out of 20 are out sick.

I realize at 3:30 pm that the school never called me to see why my daughter was out. So, in light of this swine flu epidemic, no call to see why Hannah is out or what she has. In light of the silver car circling town trying to abduct children (remember that two weeks ago) no call because my daughter is not in school. So she could have been abducted at he bus stop for all the know and would be in Dubai by 3:30pm.

Later Monday afternoon. I call the school like a savage and flip out that these mothers refuse to pick up their children. That they have no back up plan. That my child is exposed. That it is not fair. I get no where.

So here I am drinking my coffee and on the news 'a hog tests positive for swine righ here in the good old USA.

Okay, Connor is up. I have to get him ready to go to his swine infected school. He is on antibiotics so he is armed. I am not sure if I am going to send Hannah.

What is going on in your schools?

[Ann77]

What is with the parents who won't pick up their kids from school when they are sick? It is wrong because it exposes the other children and the staff, but it is also horribly cruel to make a sick child sit in class all day.

People need to start taking care of their children and families again. I live in a pretty affluent town, and parents are doing stuff like that all of the time, so it's not like they have to work for the money, which I am sympathetic with.

They'll be living in a million dollar house driving two fancy SUVs going on fancy vacations twice a year. There is a kid at our bus stop, second grade, gets off the bus every day and sometimes there is no one there to pick her up (the stop is about a block or two from her home). Mom drives a Mercedes SUV though, so at least she's got her priorities in order (not). If you're living in a million dollar house driving a Mercedes and your 8 year old kid is a latchkey kid, something is wrong.

The materialism is out of control.

The schools I find are just in CYA mode. As long as they are not legally doing anything wrong, that's it, so don't even bother calling to complain, it's a waste of time.

[Darla Shine]

You are so right about the materialism thing. You are in Jersey and I am on the Island. Property taxes here alone can run into the 30k range just to live here. These moms who aren't picking up their children aren't starving. One mom I know well and like. If she couldn't get to the school, hire a babysitter as a back up. If you are going to have a full time career you need a full time live in to take your place. Even though you cannot be replaced.

Children cannot go home to an empty house. They should never feel unloved and left sick at school knowing mommy can't get there. They should have homemade dinners. All the old fashioned things that I, that we, stand for, are important.

Yesterday, on the Today Show Maria Shriver was on talking about how women working has changed the landscape of America. And now women are the primary bread winners. Did you know that? I have to read this book and then comment. But this is the problem with America. It is the breakdown of the family.

[shipshape]

My daughter missed a few days a couple of weeks ago but was tested negative for H1N1. I kept her home the right amount of time (24 hours clear of ANY fever...which to me means anything over 98.6). So she has a cough that she's covering up properly and it comes in spells. One morning I didn't want to give her cough med. hoping it was slowing down but told her to go to the nurse if she started and I'd come to school to give her some med. Well,,,the teacher wouldn't let her leave to go to the nurse when she could clearly see the kids coughing up a storm. I'm hoping there was some sort of good reason for this but it's still frustrating just having to deal with other humans in general when your trying to take care of your family. If only we could control what everyone else does.....but of course, we can't. I'm ranting at this point but it does infuriated me that some people find doing what's right for their own kids (or the kids they have some responsibility for) is just too inconvienient.

[shipshape]

Sorry girls, just wanted to add in another little thing that is adding to the mayhem about this whole thing.....this was the front page head-line in our local paper yesterday "POLICE, FIREFIGHTERS PREPARE FOR H1N1 OUTBREAK". Of course I'm thinking they're expecting riots now. No....calm down and read the article after about 3/4 of a second of panic and find that it's just saying they're eliminating regular roll calls to keep these fine people from spewing germs on each other via handshakes, etc. Please, do we really need the extra added drama to all of this?

[judesmama]

That is so upsetting abotu the poor girl whose mom left her at school... that isn't right! My mom was always around to get us at the drop of a hat. She worked here and there when we were in school full-time but it was part-time, during school hours, and at a place where they knew she was a mother first and she had to leave if her kids needed her. What crazy priorities these women have. When my baby is sick, I just want to cuddle him up, bake him some cookies, get him comfy, and make his favorite meals... not ship him off for someone else to care for him while he's suffering, infecting others!!!!

[Darla Shine]

What newspaper? Is that article online?

One of the moms told me that the boy yesterday kept raising his hand in class saying he felt sick and the teacher wouldn't let him go to the nurse and then he started throwing up and she handed him a garbage pail. How humiliating for that little boy.

[Valerie]

All of that just makes me want to homeschool. Ugh.

[miya's mom]

All of that just makes me want to homeschool. Ugh.

I have to agree with you! My DD is only 3 so she hasn't started school yet but everything I have been hearing here about the schools and everything my sister has been going through with the middle school with her son I have been checking into home school. i just find it confusing at this point.

[shoppingmamma]

I don't know what to say - our schools are nothing like that! WOW!

Here if a child is sick the child gets sent to the Health Secretary - each school has one but there are a couple sactual RN nurses for the district that float. There are two cots in there and the child STAYS in there until the parent picks them up - they will first call the #1 contact - usually mom, then #2 usually dad and then they move to the emergency contacts - they will call and call until you come. If a parent REFUSES to pick up a child the child will stay with the nurse/health secretary and will not go to class and the school counselor will be notified - they can go as far as notifying DCF- Department of Children and Families. This is considered neglect. This isn't just for our school - my neighbor is a teacher at another one in the district and said it is policy wide.

Because of the H1N1 they are sending kids home left and right. They also will notify parents via the phone message system - a recorded message and via notes home when #1 so many kids in a class are out and then #2 if so many in the school are out.

On Monday I did not call the school call in line for absenses because I wanted to talk to Dianna - our school health secretary to let her know Sara was staying out all week because of the ER visit and such. School starts at 9:05 and my phone rang at 9:10 asking where she was!! I told her I was letting her get settled first and wanted to explain what was going on this week, get work and such.

As far as anti virals - the ER doctor and our pediatrician said they are not giving them out as they are EXPECTING a shortage through the winter - there is not one yet. Atleast here. They will give them if you are under 2 or there is a secondary condition like asthma, diabetes, etc. This is viral so really there is nothing to do but let it run it's course. When Sara's symptoms came back our pediatrician said get to ER right away as that is dangerous and they had to check for secondary infections - that is how kids are dying - they end up with strep, ear infection, pnemonia but aren't getting it checked out as the symptoms are the same as the flu and then the infection gets into the blood. Sara had nothing come up so again -just stay home , rest, liquids, tylenol as needed, etc. Our ER doc said he wouldn't even give his kids the Tamiflu as he said they are showing now it doesn't really help.


Overall I am satisfied with how our school is handling things. I think this will get WORSE nationwide because our pediatrician told us when Sara first came down with this to stay home and out of school for atleast 7 days until she is fully recovered. The ER doctor told us Saturday that they are changing that thinking - they were saying 7 to 10 but now they are really seeing it be 10 to 14 days - to not be contagious, to be fully recovered so the child is not getting it again, etc. I don't see parents taking off 14 days!!! My sister already called me this AM that she has to get to work and her SIL whose son has this said he is too sick to come to her house to watch her two that are home - I can't help her being preggo I am barely suppossed to be around my own - her kids have only been home ONE day and she is bitching about it! I told her they said 10 to 14 and she said there is no way she can do that - well you HAVE to! Have hubby take some days off or something but the only way this will STOP is if people keep their kids home and let them recover and get over this!!!!

[MaryAnne]

That is awful. I also live on Long Island. My daughter is in pre-k and at her school the director is being VERY strict about h1n1. If you even suspect your child is sick you are not allowed to bring them to school. If your child has a runny nose/cough they will question you and have you take your child home.

At my son's school there are Purell dispensers everywhere. I also send him with Sani-wipes to use before he eats his lunch and Purell in his backpack to use after recess.

Darla, I hope Hannah is feeling better!

[shoppingmamma]

told her to go to the nurse if she started and I'd come to school to give her some med. Well,,,the teacher wouldn't let her leave to go to the nurse when she could clearly see the kids coughing up a storm.


I don't understand this! Here they go for EVERY little reason - yesterday the school health secretary called Steve and said I didn't want to bother Jill since she is dealing with Sara but Mikey is in here - my hubby was like do I need to come get him? All OK? She said he and another child bumped heads at recess - he came in - she looked at it and it's not red, no bump, no tears ....Steve is like OK....why are you calling me?? She said just wanted to let you know! We get these calls ALL the time! My neighbor is a nurse and told the school one that she welcomes her calls if warranted - if there is no blood, no emergency, no puking, no fever - it's OK to just let it go - don't need a call because they came in for chapstick or something! lol ;)

[kittykat]

I am a sahm but even if I wasn't I would not let anything stand in my way of going to get my dd if her school nurse call and said she had a fever or was throwing up. My dd is the most important thing to me and is my first priority.

Christine

[Jia]

I am just in tears for these poor kids that have to go back to class and suffer, and all the other kids like Hannah who are exposed to this nonsense and madness!

[sam700]

We are very fortunate to have an actual nurses office and a full-time nurse (not sure how long this will last). She has a cot and a fully stocked office. She is even holding a flu shot clinic.

Whenever a child gets hurt or complains of not feeling well, it is school policy to send them immediately to the nurse. If it's minor, she fills out a form that goes home to make the parents aware that the child visited the nurse. If a child has a fever & the parent cannot come, the child waits in the nurses station until the back up can get there. A child is never sent back to the classroom with a fever. Also the nurse verifies the 24 hour fever free rule, if a child gets a fever at school they aren't allow to return the next day. If she catches them there, they get sent home again. They do not fool around here with illness. I think they would probably report the parents to CPS if they didn't come or send someone to get them when they had a fever or were vomiting.

[ruthieshome]

I read all this and am so very thankful we homeschool our children. We are not immune from the swine flu by any means.

The co-op where I teach once a week.. was canceled for the week because of the virus. We now show up early to the building to wipe down doors, bathrooms, tables, and chairs etc with cleaning wipes. Our health and PE teacher also reviewed with the kids how to protect themselves from spreading the virus. (All the parents were very thankful we canceled our classes for the day even though it might have inconvenienced them.)

I have more freedom to limit my kids activities if i need too. I started last week letting my kids sleep in the mornings until they wake up to make sure they get the rest they need, hoping to a rested child means a better immune system too! :)


Homeschool frees me from the frustrations like what is written here.... I am so thankful I live in a nation and state where homeschooling is legal.... hope it stays that way .. :)

[Theresa]

One of the moms told me that the boy yesterday kept raising his hand in class saying he felt sick and the teacher wouldn't let him go to the nurse and then he started throwing up and she handed him a garbage pail. How humiliating for that little boy.
This is INSANE! This is so sad and upsetting. I thank God I'm home for my children. I feel for these mothers that have to go to work, but sending them to school sick and leaving them there is unacceptable.
So far my girls have had nothing more than colds, we'll see what happens.

[jreidmomof2]

Jill, I am with you. My school system in general is very good. I have dealt with one ding bat teacher about academics. But for sickness, accidents, security or anything like that they are very good. And it sounds like we have the same policies yours do.

[Ann77]

You are so right about the materialism thing. You are in Jersey and I am on the Island. Property taxes here alone can run into the 30k range just to live here. These moms who aren't picking up their children aren't starving. One mom I know well and like. If she couldn't get to the school, hire a babysitter as a back up. If you are going to have a full time career you need a full time live in to take your place. Even though you cannot be replaced.

Children cannot go home to an empty house. They should never feel unloved and left sick at school knowing mommy can't get there. They should have homemade dinners. All the old fashioned things that I, that we, stand for, are important.

Yesterday, on the Today Show Maria Shriver was on talking about how women working has changed the landscape of America. And now women are the primary bread winners. Did you know that? I have to read this book and then comment. But this is the problem with America. It is the breakdown of the family.

North Jersey and LI are pretty similar I think in culture and stuff. It's spins off from the craziness in NYC.

It's amazing how cheap some rich people can be too. I know a family that did have a full time nanny/housekeeper because the parents both work crazy jobs. It was nice too because they used to let the nanny bring her toddler with her. I thought that was a nice arrangement, the nanny got to work for much-needed money, the toddler got to be with his mommy during the day and two elementary school kids had a caregiver at home.

But now that their boys are in 4th grade (they're twins) they fired the nanny. Why? To save money of course! So now the kids are walking themselves to and from the bus stop and staying home after school for about 3 hours every day alone.

Those hours after school are the most precious. Kids who go to school really need their moms after school, even high school age kids.

[Ann77]

This thread is making me want to homeschool too.

[Valerie]

I've been diligently researching homeschooling today more than ever. Jackson is 4, and I can have the house ready for schooling, have routines in place, and the clutter gone by the time he is ready to start Kindergarten. I like the Christian preschool he's in right now. It's only a half day, four days per week, so I don't think I'll take him out of that, but Wade and I are praying about homeschooling our little guys.

[shipshape]

http://http://www.hometownannapolis.com/news/top/2009/10/19-27/Police-firefighters-prepare-for-H1N1-outbreak.html?ne=1

[shipshape]

Oops...that didn't work. I'm still trying to figure out anything beyond regular e-mails. Anyway, the article is in "The Annapolis Evening Capital". http://www.hometownannapolis.com/news/top/2009/10/19-27/Police-firefighters-prepare-for-H1N1-outbreak.html?ne=1
Hopefully that'll work. It was much more dramatic looking on paper.

[shoppingmamma]

Jill, I am with you. My school system in general is very good. I have dealt with one ding bat teacher about academics. But for sickness, accidents, security or anything like that they are very good. And it sounds like we have the same policies yours do.

That's good! :) I think if you have one of these crazy schools allowing kids in class sick then parents need to speak up and discuss at PTO/PTA - our principal attends EVERY meeting. The last one was where she explained the sickness policy and what would be in effect for this H1N1 season - the rule was to have the automated system call when 20% of the school was out sick and alot of parents said they want to know BEFORE - it was discussed and she took it to her "higher ups" and tonight we received an automated call from David's school that today 10% of the students were out.

[jreidmomof2]

Yep Ashley fell today on the playground and I got a call within minutes of it happening. I went to the school to check on her. She was fine, but they like to make sure.

I found out something else I really liked today. They didn't want her to go to the actual clinic room, they held her in the office. They are keeping well children out of there just to make sure germs don't pass on to them. And when the nurse came out to talk to me she washed her hands before leaving that room. I like that.

I really think it all in the school system.