Love, love, love...

[Darla Shine]

Okay so there comes a time when you think, 'what happened to the romance?' The kids, the bills, the cooking, the cleaning, and the sheer exhaustion makes it hard some days to get in the mood. And forget about sex. How about just a little romance? When was the last time you got any quality alone time with your husband? One of my girlfriends was complaining to me that her husband never takes the initiative to plan a night together. She is waiting for him to make a dinner reservation or suprise her with something special. After 11 years of marriage I told her not to hold her breath. Does this make him a bad guy? Well, having three children, a mortgage, and putting food on the table is a lot to carry on your shoulders. Men have a lot of pressure. And while we do as moms, the guys have it worse. And anyone who wants to take me on for that here I am wide open. Especially now in this economy. Imagine the stress and anxiety our husbands are going through. And while being a mom is the hardest job there is keeping a roof over your family's head has to be pretty darn close to mental torture. I simply point this out because a lot of us, including me, take for granted how much of a gift a 'good provider' is. So, maybe if you don't get flowers this Valentines Day but you have the luxury to sleep in each morning, have your day to yourself, spend some money at your will, and not have to work and be away from your home and family... maybe that is a pretty romantic gift in itself. And ladies I think this is the ultimate turn on. So don't wait for your husband to initiate romance. To him, taking care of you, he is already showing it. And to me, the fact that your man is working hard every day for you, is certainly something to get yourself all hot about. If you have this, you are a lucky girl.

But lets face it a lot of us still yearn for that extra bit of fantasy romance from our husbands no matter how hard they work. But I suggest instead of waiting for him to magically change, why not make the first move. In this month of February lets inspire love in our homes and reignite the fire.

Start by being appreciative and attentive. In my last blog we all talked about the tension our teens and tweens have created in our homes. And I know first hand how a bad night with the kids can end up. So it is more important than ever to keep your bond with your husband tight so the fighting with the children does not seperate you. And we all know it can. You need to be and stay a strong and united front. A strong marriage is the best gift you can give your children. And being happy in front of your children is priceless.

Next, make a date. If you can't get out alone, just take time on the sofa with a glass of wine to look in each others eyes and catch up. Make this a weekly staple in your lives.

Valentines Day this year is on a Sunday. I say this year we have a day of sweethearts and enjoy the Day with our entire families. Have romance the night before with your hubby. But on Sunday, make it special with your family. Heart shaped pancakes, red velvet heart shaped cake, and a special dinner.

I promise if mom sets the tone of sweetness and love, your entire family will come along. And if your husband feels like you really do adore him, the sparks will fly. I am sure of it.

But if you still want flowers and candy from your man like I do.... just tell him. Men are great with following directions.

[lauramt]

Over the years, I've noticed my man loves praise. If I praise him for doing something as simple as taking out the trash, it makes him feel good and he's more willing to do the task again without my asking.

A couple of nights ago, I was helping my DD with her homework at the kitchen table and my DH decided he was going to help and do the dishes....... well, my DD went to the bathroom and I looked up at my DH and said, "babe, you standing there doing dishes is a HUGE turn on." He just laughed. But I think it's important to tell the other person you appreciate them. It does go both ways, I like hearing that the house looks nice or the meal I cooked was good.

I think we could all use a little more romance...... they say having a great sex life will increase your health and make you live longer. Plus you burn calories.........

Here's to romance ya'll! We should share ways of adding it into our lives.... maybe someones idea will inspire you......

[LoveBuns]

Oh dear, I had my post all done and then I lost it, I think??
Anyway, I will do it all over again.
I want to throw this out there. We do a hot date night once a week at our house. We do it no matter what. Any night will work. This is how we do it:
We feed the kids their supper, read and do our usual bedtime routine and put them to bed. This is around 7:30. They enjoy their time to read at bedtime so this works out very good for us.
We head back to the kitchen and make a special meal that we come up with together. We try new things each week and enjoy cooking and being in the kitchen together. We light candles, the fireplace is going, soft music and if hubby is near a flower shop that day, we have fresh flowers to look at. We eat our meal and then the rest of the night is ours to do what we want with. It amazes us that we have been together almost 19 years and it is almost as if we are still newlyweds. We keep our excitement for each other alive and do little things for each other all the time. Even if it is putting toothpaste on his toothbrush. He will notice and think it is so sweet.

[shoppingmamma]

Spring, Summer and Fall we used to do several nights a week where we'd have a glass of wine and catch up in the hot tub - last spring we were doing it like 3 and 4 nights a week - was nice and relaxing and a great way to catch up!! We haven't done it since being preggo since I can't use the hot tub - oh wait that MAY be how I got preggo!!! ;) I have noticed it seems like the romance has slipped - those catch ups several nights a week really did keep us more connected I feel.

[lauramt]

Lyndsay, we do the same thing... we make the kids their own dinner, and put them to bed. Then we cook for ourselves. We pick something new out of our favorite cookbook and then enjoy date night at home.... we don't have much help with the kids so have to be smart about finding one on one ime.

[LoveBuns]

Hey Laura, Hi there fellow military wife!
I love my date night! A must in our house each week!

[lauramt]

Lyndsay, where are you and your husband stationed?

I wish we did it weekly, but we do it once every two weeks or so. Usually once a pay period as the meals we usually try cooking cost extra money..... we do have our "Monday night" comedy night, which consists of getting the kids into bed and making popcorn, curling up on the couch together and watching Big Bang Theory, Two and a Half Men and How I Met Your Mother. That usually leads to a night of "romance." There is something about laughing together that makes you closer.

[keltie]

That's a great idea about the date night. We will try that! Darla, I LOVE what you said about not taking a "good provider" for granted. That is so true.

[kittykat]

I love the idea of date night. My dh and I do not do it enough, we say we are going to do it once a month and both our mothers even said they would babysit for dd but for some reason we don't take advantage of it. I would even like going to breakfast after we drop off our dd at school if it could'nt be at night.

We do occasionally go get a coffee at dunkin donuts before we pick up our dd at school so we can get some alone time since my dh works nights.

[Caliwife]

Date nights rock. Even though I don't have any smalls at home anymore I find that I get so caught up in my day to day stuff that I have to plan a date night. But its so important to show our man that he is important and that we love him. Believe me, if you don't do the little things there is someone waiting in the wings to get your man.