If you take care of your home you are not a slave!

[Darla Shine]

I just read a review of my book where a woman said "Well if you want to be a slave read Happy Housewives." I would really like to clock this woman right in the nose. And it has nothing to do with her not liking my book. If you don't like it fine. But where do these women come off thinking taking care of husband, your children, and your home, means you are a slave? Whose job is it? Is it for the hired help? Do you need a cleaning woman? A chef? A driver? The other night on the Housewives of New Jersey when Theresa told the party planner that she cleaned her own house the woman looked horrified. Theresa responded that she was 'old school' and did it herself. The woman looked disgusted. Theresa should have clocked her in the face too. Good for Theresa! She has a beautiful home (however so big I really don't know how she keeps up with it) and she is proud of it. Why wouldn't she want to keep it clean and take pride in that. And cooking for your children. Why wouldn't you think it was your job to give your children good, homemade, nutritious meals? Is that beneath a woman? Who could call that slavery?

Now lets face it we all feel slaves to our homes sometimes. It isn't glamorous folding laundry and picking up dog poo. But once again I will ask what is so glamorous about giving all your time and energy to our boss while you sit at some desk doing something no one really cares about. Is that business deal really as wonderful as your daughter laughing with you while playing in the baby pool? Does your boss get as excited about your business plan as your son does when you build a lego city? And at the end of the day do you really think you aren't a slave for your paycheck?

If you have to work that is one thing. But if you are choosing to leave your baby all day because you want to work instead of staying home with your child, well, too bad for you.

[sam700]

I think you're more of a "slave" at work. And for what? A paycheck.

I had a friend who was borderline OCD and he couldn't understand why his wife was such a slob. He said "I pay a lot of money to drive nice cars, live in a nice house and buy nice things. It dosen't make sence not to take care of this stuff". That made me really think. I'm not always the best about taking care of the car. My house sometimes gets out of control and I don't feel like keeping it up. But why have something and NOT take care of it. It's being a spoiled brat to think someone should always do it for you.

[helen]

Darla I love what you have said. I must admit I do sometimes feel like a slave to my home but I have found when I take the time to take care of it I love it more. Its like the more I put into my home the more I get from it kwim?
Now on to Theresa from RHNJ...Do ya'll REALLY think she does it herself? I dunno...I almost feel like they script it that way in the show. I think she probably "straightens" her own house up but as far as the nitty gritty cleaning I'm sure she has someone coming in once a week. I mean that house is HUGE!!! I cannot keep up with mine and mine is the size of a needle compared to hers lol!

Yet again thanks for writing this. Its always good to have a reminder that taking care of our homes is actually a privilege we have and to be able to be home and take care of our families while our hubbies work is a the biggest, truest blessing. I think I've been taking it for granted. Time for me to step it up. Thanks!

[Penelope]

I also don't see anything glamorous about having a stranger who doesn't love your home come in and clean it for you. It's ok to have hired help, but I see it as a thing to do if you really need help, not because there is any "glamour" in having someone else enter your home to clean it.

Housewives clean with love :)

[jennypenny]

If I am a slave, so be it.
I would rather be a slave to people I love dearly~ than someone that I don't!

[shoppingmamma]

I agree girls and penelope that needs to be a new T "housewives clean with love" LOL ;)

I believe Theresa- I have her cookbook and many recipes quite easy so could see her doing that every night and for cleaning the key to her house is the huge PLAYROOM! We had one in FL and I want hubby to finish the basement here for one - I noticed when we had playroom kids rooms stayed more picked up and the toys didn't travel to other areas -actually made it easier to keep up with. Plus even though her house is HUGE - I wish they'd do a full tour :) I think she probably doesn't use all those rooms every day - I know my living room isn't used much and dining we do eat at nightly but that's it and I can be in and out in 1/2hour or so ....now the rooms the kids "live" in take me MUCH longer! LOL ;)

I have started to ignore people who talk about me staying home - I actually do enjoy the cleaning, decorating, cooking, baking and all that ...

[Tina R]

Darla, you make some good points there. Nothing wrong with cleaning your own home and taking pride in it.

My parents are in poor health ATM, and have arranged for a cleaner to come in and give them a hand for a couple of hours. They found it really difficult to hand over that kind of responsibility to someone else. They still see themselves as the parents who can take care of everyone and everything else and are finding it hard to see themselves diffferently. It's made me think a bit about my attitude to this kinda thing.

[Theresa]

A slave? I cannot relate to that at all. I'm so thankful that I am able to stay home every day and take care of my family and home. I wouldn't want to be doing anything else.

[suzanne]

Great post Darla! I completely agree.

[mamaof4]

Theresa you are always so up beat and proud and seem to be so organized and on top of things.. I envy you!!

God bless you girl...

[Theresa]

Theresa you are always so up beat and proud and seem to be so organized and on top of things.. I envy you!!

God bless you girl...

That is so sweet :)

[Caliwife]

Perhaps the person that wrote that review is a "bitter Betty." When I worked a lot of the women talked bad about the wives of our bosses who didn't work and were at home with their families - jealous bitter Betties. They wished they could stay home.

I for one love taking care of my home and family and do not consider myself a slave - far from it! I loved Darla's post.

Also, I read somewhere that Teresa from RHONJ either her parents or Joe's parents live with them - so they may pitch in with the housework or that could be a rumor. Anyway, I love those NJ gals, so much drama.

[lauramt]

There are days when I do feel like a slave... but it doesn't happen very often. Usually when I'm tired or irritated and the kids are being overly demanding.

I have to admit, that when I was making the switch from working mom to stay at home mom, I really struggled. At first I read Darla's book and I thought, "are you kidding me?" This lady thinks we are stuck in the 1950's!!! I thought Darla was nuts on her "bonding with your home concept." LOL But I have to say... after taking the time to think about it all, Darla was right.... and I embraced my home and my family.... sometimes I do still feel like a slave, but most of the time I feel that it's MY privilege to stay home and take care of my kids and my home....

[Mommygirl]

I love this post, Darla. I agree with everything you said. I am blessed to be able to be home with my boys. There are times when I get a little down, but all I have to do is look at how happy my family is or watch my little boys play when they dont think that I am watching, and then I thank God for my family. I enjoy doing for them whether it is housework, laundry or cooking. I dont feel like a slave at all.

[sahmto2boys]

I know that i am blessed to be able to stay home...most of the time tho..i do feel like a slave...not just to my home but to my kids and hubby too...his line that always gets me mad...since you are home all day doing nothing...can you go to motor vehicless or whereever...my house gets messy, not dirty, but messy, and i agree with him that he works very hard he should be able to come home to a clean house....i sooo try...but many times he doesnt see it...thats cause he's never home with the kids for more than 5 minutes....whereas...as i clean one room...they are messing up another...and i kick them out of the now messed up one...they go into the rooms i have just cleaned....i know i know...its a never ending battle...

[Dale]

Darla, you say it so well. I have been a slave, a slave to a job I hated and one that made me sick to go to everyday. I am free for the first time. My time is my own, I can play when I want, I work when I want and I am proud to keep a wonderful and clean home and turn out a fabulous table every night. I am proud of being home.

[soldierswife]

Its amazing what people will sacrifice for something as crass as more money!! For those who work and have to I'm not belittling them, but their guilt shouldnt allow them to belittle a housewife. It drives me crazy. They are worth more because they pay taxes? Come on. My husband is wanting me to get a job now because he wants us to pay off our debt and he wants things. But no one will even consider my at home experience. I am a nonviable potential employee. I have zero credibility in the human resources eyes.

[blondemama]

i think i have a pretty sweet job:001_302:
Job perks are priceless being a stay at home mom!
More money would be nice but not at the expense of my foundation: my family.
I did find it hard to transition from the work place to home and learn how to see my duties at home as a "job" but i kept working at it and now it comes pretty easy most days.

[Pumpkin]

Why do I love cleaning my own home? No one can do it better than me!! If that makes me a slave...oh well...(shrugs)