You can come out of the closet!

[keltie]

Originally Posted by BellaLuna

Thank you! This was very therapeutic for me!! lol!! I didn't mean to hold the thread hostage

I really never told anyone just how bad things got. Even my Mother. I was so embarrased and felt like such a bad parent.

Now I know better!

Me too. It IS embarrassing. My daughter usually only acts out with me, and is quite sweet to (most) others. Feeling like it's my fault and I'm a bad parent is what I struggle with. My own parents are very close (physically and emotionally) to us. The way she acts to me breaks their hearts too. I have to stop complaining to my own mom and dad so it doesn't affect their relationship. They shouldn't have to fight my battles. She is for the most part, VERY sweet to them.

[LoveBuns]

Originally Posted by ngabriel

I have this problem with MY parents mostly!! because they don't have faith in our decision to homeschool our kids, i feel like i can NEVER tell them if my daughter is not having a perfect school day!! It constantly torments me, and drives me crazy!! they are ALWAYS trying to "test" her.. she can't do anything without it turning into an opportunity ti see WHAT she's learning in school! It's aweful!

I know what you mean. My parents are very supportive and see that homeschooling is a wonderful thing. They are amazed at what the kids are learning and are so happy for us. On the other hand, not all family members see things the same way. It bugs me like crazy too but like my hubby will say to me, why do we care what they think. It is our life and our kids!

[cejgeorgia]

My children are 5 and 7 and my 5 year old has quite a little mouth on him! I just tell him in no uncertain terms that he is not to talk to me this way and I will take away his toys or playroom for awhile. If it's really bad, yelling at me or pinching me I very calmly give him 5 swats(this does not hurt his butt just his feelings mostly) and he has gotten the point. In fact his pre-K teacher told me that he is the most well behaved boy in class (there are 20 ) and he is very loving. Kids try stuff all the time and we should stop judging each other, that's worse than the bad behavior if you ask me. You don't train your child in a day it takes a lifetime.

[Theresa]

Darla, I'm so glad that you started this thread. My girls are 13, 14 and 16. It's not easy. One of our biggest challenges right now is how moody everyone is. I never know what to expect. The ups and downs are exhausting. Thank God I have a lot of patience. The only time I get upset is when they are mean. I can't tolerate them being mean. I can understand that girls are going to be hormonal, but I'm not putting up with anyone being nasty.

[BellaLuna]

Originally Posted by Seashell

Hi, I am Shell and my 14yr old hates me.

Ok, I feel better now ; )

I am going through the same thing, since High School started. We are constantly fighting. She wants to date older boys, and I say No!
I say do your chores, she says No! everything is extra loud in my house latley.

Honestly, the other day she sassed me when I was standing in the kitchen, it got to the point that we both started screaming, I felt like I had fire coming out of my ears. She pushed me when I was not expecting it and I fell into the stove. I am sure she was not expecting me to fall but when I stood up she was ready to throw blows with me. needless to say I had to pin her down on the ground untill she said "Uncle"... ha ha, no but seriously as mad as I was, it was heart breaking, and I remember having that moment with my own Mother when I was a teenager. And as pissed as I was with her, I needed to realise my own fault. I need to pick my battles with her, because if not her and I will fight all the time and I will push her away. This stuff is going to happen. It sucks..........

Just this morning I had a emotional breakdown... It is hard for sure. But I need to do something, I need to find a way to find some ground with her, because I will be damn if my Daughter spends her next 4 years cussing me because she does not get her way. Let me know if any of you figure something out.

Yes I am sad to say that I have been here
It was at this point that I had had it. I could no longer control myself and that was bad. So we went to the therapist and she made it clear that it just should never even get to this point (much easier said than done!!) This is where you are supposed to state your point and walk away. Don't get sucked in which is exactly what she wants. If she knows you are miserable then in her little mind she is in control and has won. If she keeps on you, walk away. If she continues, lock yourself in the bathroom and turn on the shower. She will wear herself out or get bored because you aren't playing along.

Good luck honey!! Feel free to PM me for support-anyone, anytime!!

[jennypenny]

I want to say thank you all for being honest. Why don't we make a HHW Pact? We WILL NOT hide from each other. No one here is going to judge you, if your are doing your best. We should not feel like we are fighting these battles alone.
We are friends. No reason to put up a false front.
PS-My own child trama story is on the main page. LOL!

[keltie]

I'm in on the pact!

[BellaLuna]

Sign me up!! This stuff is hard enough to get through let alone feeling like you are the only family in America!!

No one should judge anyway. We all have our crosses to bear. I have to admit though when the girls were younger I did have the audacity to assume that it would always be smooth sailing because we were doing everything "right." What is right? lol!! I am very humbled now

Thanks girls