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Tending to the fires of love long- distance.

Nurturing your marriage and keeping the intimacy alive while living apart is a real challenge that most military wives face. It’s so important to stay connected and preserve the special bond between you and your husband.

Ideas shared by some of our Happy Housewives Club members

Web cams are the miracle of the modern age for the military family. I feel so good when I can see his face and smile. It does the same for him to see us. We are lucky in the aspect that he has INTERNET access. Lots of “I love yous” and sometimes some naughty talk. I know some times you just want to unload. But if I talk about something serious I never forget to let him know he is missed and loved. I try to make him laugh when I can also.

Soldierswife

When my dh was deployed he made a DVD of pics of him and his friends and stuff and sent it to us. Set to the song "lullaby" by Lit, best EVER song for deployed parents...if you don’t know it go download it. I cry every time I hear it! We watched it at least once a day! There is a thing also called flat daddies/mommies...I saw it in a magazine. The marines do it but I don’t know it any military personnel can get them....anyway, its a life- sized cardboard cut out of your loved one who is away. I think with younger kids at home this might be a great idea!

Ashlee



Before his second tour, we bought small hand held recorders and 200 blank micro tapes. We recorded tapes as the days went by, sort of like journaling on tape. I brought the recorder to all my prenatal appointments, so he could hear the doctor updates. He did the same on his end, when he had down time.....they were sent snail mail, but the got there. When I got a letter from him and it had a tape in it, it made my week, month......LIFE!

Pjswife

I’m not a military wife but husband is gone a lot.. We do the webcam and try to talk a lot.

Lunajuly

Planning and communication are key to making it through separations. Love letters stuck in his stuff before he leaves to be found later when he's missing you!

Noel1222

More tips on how to stay close to your husband despite the physical distance

• Keep a journal – either on-line or a hard copy version. Each night, write in your journal just like you would speak to your husband. Take a few minutes to record your thoughts, feelings, and ideas. Discuss the events of the day, the weather, the news, etc. Every week or so, send the pages to your husband. Have him do the same for you.
• Be sure to let your husband know how much you love and miss him but keep in mind that he needs to know you’re e able to handle life on the home front, as hard as it may et. Try to stay upbeat and positive because your morale directly affects his.
• Take lots of pictures and send them to your husband regularly. There are frames and photo albums that allow you to record personalized messages.
• Make countdown calendars – one for you and one for him. Use an index card for each day. On each card, write the date, how many days until he’ll be home, a reason why you love him and something you will do together when he returns.
• Make a CD with songs that have special meaning to you and your marriage. That way you can think of each other when you’re listening.
• Send him a pillow case or (if you’re daring) a piece of lingerie w/ your perfume on it.
• Be sure to send goody boxes and care packages regularly. Fill them with his favorite treats.
• Make a little book of word searches or scrambles that contain words of things that remind you of him. Assign a theme to each word search (ie: the first night you met, your first date, your wedding).
• Send your husband free, personalized "kisses" with a short note. They are fun, romantic, and cute, and it adds a little variety to the conventional e-mail.
• Think of him on his time. Buy two small travel alarm clocks that display time and date. Keep yours on his time and his on your time (ie: set yours to Iraq time zone and his to Eastern time zone). Then whenever look at the clock you’ll know what time it is where he is and vice-versa.
• Have a calendar made with pictures of the two of you.
• Send a "Heart Attack". Cut out heart shaped pieces of paper and write on them the things you appreciate about him. Place all the hearts in an envelope and send them to him.
• Have a favorite photograph of the two of you made into a jigsaw puzzle. Send your husband a few pieces with every letter.
• Send him reminders of back home. If you visit the beach, send some shells and sand in a baggy to him – be sure to tell him how much you missed him being there. Send an autumn leaf to remind him of the tree in your yard and the Fall season. And so forth.
• Send your husband a personalized set of dog tags. You can have your photo (and your children’s photo), engraved on them so he can wear his family close to his heart.