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Let's talk about sex

Okay girls, it’s time to talk about sex.
let's talk You have got to be having sex if you are going to be a happy housewife. So stop acting tired, make an effort and get back in the sack. Even if you have to schedule sex. Think of it as you would any other mommy activity. Monday take the kids to piano lessons, Tuesday laundry, Wednesday quickie, Thursday softball, Friday Girl Scout meeting, Saturday great sex.

I know that it’s the last thing on your mind most days but if you listen to me, your husband will be vacuuming the kitchen floor and putting the laundry away. It is true. The way to keep your man happy is to give him sex. And surely you can give up a few minutes of your day. I promise if you are having more intimacy with your husband you will be in a better mood too.

Touch every day. Make sure you hold hands, kiss hello, and goodbye each day, hug, rub his back, sit next to him on the couch, lie close to him in bed. I know this might be hard for you to do if you haven’t been close in a while, but you can start slowly. Sit down with him and tell him you’ve decided that you want to have a stronger marriage and want to be closer to him. Tell him that you want to make an effort to be more affectionate.

Try to have one lustful, passionate kiss every day. At the end of the day when he comes home from work, greet your husband, wrap your arms around him, and give him a nice long kiss. Count if you have to—try to make that kiss last for a good three seconds. I know you might think this sounds staged and ridiculous, and in a way it is, but I’ll tell you that those seconds of connection really help you bond.

And don’t just have intimacy when you’re having sex. Most days you won’t be having sex, and it’s especially important then to have contact. If your husband is plopped on the couch with the remote, plop yourself right next to him, put your legs over his, throw a blanket over the two of you and cuddle. Make the first move. Start showing affection, and you’ll see over the weeks and months that your relationship will be stronger.


chat in the forum about this topic

Dressing sexy can be fun for you and your DHDon’t be a zombie in bed. Don’t just lie there and wait till it’s over. Your husband is a man, and studies show that men think about sex every fifteen seconds. My husband says that that’s stupid and untrue, but I’m not sure I believe him. I know this much--men are perverts. They like pornography, big tits, sexy women, and naughty X-rated sex, and they have been thinking about it all since they were probably fifteen years old. I’m not saying you should go out and buy a whip and become a dominatrix, but I am saying that you have got to turn up the heat in your bedroom. Why not? You just might enjoy yourself. Your husband—just like you, admit it—wants some hot, wild, steamy sex. Don’t believe that you cannot have a passionate sex life if you have been married more than ten years. It’s not true. You just have to work on it. You can reignite the flame. What’s holding you back?

Quickies are good. Just put the kid in the baby swing, grab your hubby, and run into another room. Even a few minutes of romance will rekindle the sparks. There’s just not enough time for long lovemaking sessions most days. And, if you wait for scheduled sex, something always comes up, like a fever, the croup, or some other ailment that will cause your child to scream for hours and your husband to become irritated because he’s desperately horny. And, ladies, let’s face it, if you’re not having orgasms at least once in a while, we know what a raving lunatic you are. So, forget about making love. You know he loves you, so just go screw. Yes. Grab him, have a quickie, in the kitchen, in the bathroom, wherever and whenever you can. Your husband will love the new spontaneous you.

Initiate it. Your husband will love you coming on to him for once. Don’t wait for him to initiate sex. Why not go after your man for once? As I told you earlier, men are like big babies who want attention and affection, so put your hand on his thigh, lean in, and go for it, honey. Shake things up a bit.

 ***

Steps to revitalize
your marriage:

Attention and appreciation.

This is what your man wants--a little attention, and for you to tell him that you appreciate him once in a while.

Bite your tongue.

Don’t go for his jugular. Don’t tell him you hate his mother. Don’t insult his manhood. Show your husband some respect. You want it, too. It works both ways.

Don’t be a nag.

For goodness’ sake, take the garbage out yourself.

Look your best.

Try to fix yourself up a bit before he walks in the door.

Call your girlfriends when you want to bitch, whine, and complain about life. Your husband doesn’t want to hear it.

***
Have fun. Pull over and make out in your driveway. Jump in the shower with him. Drop the kids off with your parents and go to a hotel for a few hours. It’s the ho-hum stagnation of married sex that turns many husbands and wives to forget about passion. If you start having some fun together, some laughs, and some unplanned sex, you can start feeling like the couple you were when you were dating.

Don’t use sex as a punishment. Please don’t. You’re only punishing yourself. A lot of women I know use sex as a weapon. “Oh, I’m mad at him, so he’s not getting any for at least a month”--I’ve heard it a thousand times. Well, who are you punishing? Sex is not a punishment. Sex is really a gift to be shared between two married people. So, keep sex where it belongs, between the two of you. When you’re angry with your husband, sit down and talk about it. Resolve your issues as soon as you can. Walking around the house not talking to each other is just stupid.

For goodness’ sake, will you buy some sexy nightwear? Get some lingerie and throw out the flannels. I think wearing beautiful lingerie makes a woman feel sexy, and of course it’s a huge turn- on for the man. I know a lot of women don’t buy lingerie because they think it’s a waste of money, but how is investing in your marriage a waste of money? You don’t have to spend hundreds of dollars, just buy a couple of nighties. And, if it’s winter and you think it’s too cold to wear a satin nightgown, don’t turn to those old lady flannels. There are so many cute lines of pajamas today that you can look sexy and be warm at the same time. So, get yourself to the p.j. department. Looking good in the bedroom is just as important as looking good out of it. Make an effort, please.

Court each other. Even when your babies are small, you need to make time for your husband. Get Grandma over to babysit so you can go to dinner together. Even if you can get out for just two hours, go for coffee, grab a quick dinner, flirt, talk like adults. Spending time with the guy that you love, just the two of you, is a huge release of tension. Getting out and having a few laughs over a cocktail, hearing about your husband’s day, telling him about yours, away from the house, away from the kids, away from the responsibilities of parenthood is necessary for you to stay close. The important part here is getting out of the house. Take a ride, just the two of you, and reconnect. You need to do this at least once a month. Don’t feel guilty about leaving the children. You deserve it. Make it a priority to keep your marriage alive.
  • Monday take the kids to piano lessons
  • Tuesday laundry
  • Wednesday quickie
  • Thursday softball
  • Friday Girl Scout meeting
  • Saturday great sex

Release the Sexual Goddess Within You
I know she’s in there somewhere. I know you want to enjoy your womanhood. I know that deep down you really do want to have great sex. Why don’t you just admit it? What are you waiting for? You’re a married woman. A mother. You deserve a big fat orgasm. And I know this for sure, no matter how tired you may be, most women would wake up from the dead if they were going to have some hot sex and a big O.


love, Darla


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